Translate

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Funny 'Rage' comments 'wordled'

Oh, 'how I love 'wordle'. I have just enough comments now to pick out the 'adjectives' used by those who've read 'Rage of Atlantis' to 'wordle' them. Here goes...looks like the main consensus is that it's FUNNY.

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

'Universe' Principle

Just listening to Marilyn Manson's 'Holy Wood' again, and realised this was the album I was listening to the most when I wrote 'Rage of Atlantis'. For myself, there's a 'Universe' Principle hidden in there, that it doesn't care, no matter what you do, who you are, it doesn't care. That's why, hidden under the fun mixed up detective story of 'Rage' there's raw violence, uncaring orders, selfish whims, unbelievably inhumane ideas, with no care of the consequences to others.
...Saying this, those who've read it say it's great!

Monday, November 26, 2012

Midsummer Nights Dream, Dani style + Fish shit

2 weeks to go for the performance of a simplified ESL Midsummer Nights Dream, the kids know their lines (mostly), but acting...well...what do you expect from reluctant 12 year-olds. Putting acting into the play..now!
When they're done, I'm going to write it all up like a book. Why not? It's a great laugh, and it's Shakespeare!

On another note, my youngest finally named our biggest fish...Shit, due to the amount he produces. It makes great lines..."Look, Dad, Shit's swimming backwards."..."Really?", or "Shit's upsetting that other fish."..."Well, it would, wouldn't it."

Sunday, November 25, 2012

Here, fishy, fishy

Yes, an extract again from 'Rage', the part with the "You humans live in shallow waters" (page 139).
We really do. We're just out of the trees, and some us have already gone back.


It was dark, she had some kind of textile over her head, probably a black cloth sack of some description. She was also in water, though not much, just enough to keep her skin wet. What did she remember? Something hard and heavy had hit her head, there was pain, and that was all. She had no idea where she was or when it was, but whoever had done this to her wasn't exactly intelligent or knew about dolphins. She made some clicks and her biosonar ability mapped out what was a small almost empty room. A short human was in the room.
"Where am I?"
"Hello, fishy."
"Where am I?" Whoever it was, they didn't want to communicate. It was a young voice.
"Here, fishy, fishy." With her biosonar she saw that the young voiced human was dangling a fish in front of her nose.
"Tell me where I am." Kang Dee got hit over the head with something hard.
"And I am not a fish." She received another sharp hard hit to the head.
"You humans live in shallow waters."
"Ehh?" This human wasn't smart, he didn't know a dolphin swear when he heard one. Or it meant that he was as young as his voice, too young to have any knowledge of her culture.
"Where am I?"
"Here, fishy, fishy."

Satan on the toilet (Rage of Atlantis)

The word 'toilet' appears 18 times in 'Rage', more than the word 'squirrel' (once).
Thought I'd just show the beginning of the 'row' between God and Satan here...(page 235)



“These monkeys have gone too far!” God had forgotten about someone. “Where’s Satan?”
“He said he had something important to do…”
“…I’ll give him ‘important’!” God made a call. “This is God. I need a code 365 on angel 666. Yes, code 365.” God listened for a while. “Yes, I know it’ll cost. Yes, a lot! I know I can’t ask for another until the next installment! Just do it!” He put the communicator down and they all waited. Gabriel and Audrey didn’t know what they were waiting for. Suddenly there was a small explosion and a cloud of smoke over to the right. When the smoke settled, a bemused Satan was sitting on a toilet, reading a comic.
“Err, hello?” He closed the comic and tried to look as relaxed as you could while sitting on a toilet in front of three people. 
“Hello, Satan. Long time, no see.”
“I’m sure there could have been a better time for this.” Satan showed that he was on the toilet.
“What are you doing?”
“A number two.” Gabriel and Audrey could sense it, and waved the air around.

Saturday, November 24, 2012

Pet hates

Someone gave me a short interview the other day...no, it wasn't book related, unfortunately.
They didn't ask me the one question I wanted to ask...what are my pet hates?
Exactly. Pets, or rather people with pets. Enslaved creatures taken out of their natural environments, bred to fit our lives, to give us pleasure and joy for our own selfish needs.
Yes, okay, I have fish, but what my partner didn't realise when I said I'd like an aquarium is that I meant one without fish, just a nice colourful waterworld with bubbles...and no fish. So I feed them once a day, clean them out every so often...wow, do fish poo...and see if they live. Some prosper, some die.
But dog owners...I'll leave that for another post, I might even write an esay on it.

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Comment on 'Too Dull to Die' on authonomy!

FINALLY after days of screaming on authonomy.com, someone writes a comment.
Looks like they like it :-) Of course, it needs a little tidying up, but doesn't everything?

http://authonomy.com/books/48656/too-dull-to-die/

Emma L.H....

Dani, how this book has had so little attention on here, is a mystery to me. I love it! It's fresh, your writing is crisp and the humour throughout had me sniggering like a loony several times. I particularly liked the references to the light tunnel and jaffa cakes- brilliant!

Guido is a great MC. He's very believable in his mannerisms, speech, actions and thoughts. What a shame he happened to die when he did- poor bloke. That cruise might have sorted him out a bit! Graham- aka- Grim Reaper is a great character and you've made a good introduction to snarky Peter. I think your strong point is dialogue. It flows beautifully and not once did it sound forced or stilted- good job, there.

I did notice a few nit picks; hope they can be of help:

I don't think you need 'first adventure' and 'only adventure'. It's a bit redundant; they're both the same thing, really. I think 'first adventure' should be the one to go. 'Only adventure' has more of an impact.

"Good day to you, and Welcome!
Welcome shouldn't be capitalised.

"Err, no...
This should be 'Er' (one 'R').

Some of your paragraphs could do with a tidy. You have someone speaking and someone else thinking, etc, in the same paragraph, sometimes. It can be a little confusing. Also, I think the closing sentence of the first chapter, beginning, 'Peter shooed them away...' is a bit weak. After reading this, I know you could have come up with a better ending to chapter one- you're a great writer- and it just doesn't really fit. End it on a comical note or with a little hint or twist of what is to come. There's not a bit enough hook to entice the reader to continue the way it is.

Dani, there really isn't much more I can say. You've got a fantastic book here and I will be shelving it when I have space on my shelf. Why not join a genre group on the forums? It'll get you more reads, and this definitely needs to get noticed. For now, highly starred and I wish you all the best with this. Well done.

Sunday, November 18, 2012

Reality is more unbelievable than fiction

True story: An acquaintance rented his flat out, the tenants didn't pay for months, they didn't pay anything. After trying to get his money, he finally changes the locks and takes back his flat. What happens?
The police arrest him and he gets 1/2 a day in jail, and if he tries it again, he could get 3 years.
In Hungary, the law is on the side of the tenant, no matter if they're in the wrong.
He has to go through the courts to get them out and that'll take a year or more. And that might not even work.
Video: starts at 11:45 (in Hungarian)
http://www.rtlklub.hu/most/34171_hirado_leegett_-_hatvanhat_embert_kellett_kimenteni_amikor_k


Speeding: I never drive over the speed limit, though I see tons of idiots breaking all the rules they can in this busy city every day and yet not get caught. I was on a quiet empty straight country road, tired and following another car, only to realise after 10 seconds that I was breaking the speed limit, so I slowed down  - after 10 seconds of 'speeding'. Guess who got fined?
The injustice in this country is unbelievable.

Saturday, November 17, 2012

Just an observation...

A few months ago, at one of the thousands of festivals and celebration days in the summer, I had to wait while my daughters finished whatever craftwork they were doing at the time. While I was there, everyone heard a conversation between a couple and a woman with two children. The woman had no partner and the couple were trying to matchmake her to a friend of theirs. It was clear after 10 minutes that this guy they were describing was a self-centred, fat, balding git with a hint of paedophilia/bisexiality with his too-frequent trips to Bangkok and other dodgy Asian cities. The woman was umming and erring until they mentioned his quite 'handsome' salary. She took his number. This conversation is going in 'The Puncher', the story of some crazed idiot, roaming the streets.

Friday, November 16, 2012

Looking for 3000 hits...

Just 20 to go for 3000 hits...it's been a while since I've posted.
Slowly writing up 'Forgotten', which is about a wingless angel in an insane asylum, and putting ideas together for 'The Puncher'. These two will be short stories/novelettes to go with 'Too Dull to Die', and I'll publish it once it's done, 3 short stories in one book.
'Too Dull to Die' is a linear 'Martin Freeman'-type story, slightly absurd.
'Forgotten' is a slightly linear mixed-style story.
'The Puncher' will be strange, some stream of consciousness method mixed with the usual.
So, that's the news ATM.
Oh, and please go and read 'Too Dull to Die', it's all (yes, ALL) available to read on authonomy.com at...
 http://authonomy.com/books/48656/too-dull-to-die/
Thanks :-)

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

FULL 1st novelette on authonomy.com

Full 1st novelette on authonomy.com at...

http://authonomy.com/books/48656/too-dull-to-die/

Please come and read it, only 13000 words :-)
Comment if you can, I'd like a few on the back of the book.
As you can see from the cover, it says "Too Dull to Die ...and other stories". Yes, I'm working on those .-)

Sunday, November 11, 2012

1st novelette on jottify (7 parts out of 12)

Finally put my 1st novelette somewhere, the first 7 parts out of 12 to 'wet your appetites'
http://jottify.com/works/too-dull-to-die/
Please go and have a look :-)

Friday, November 9, 2012

Waiting for Godot Stoppard influence

Yes, I knew Waiting for Godot was a huge influence on my 3 books, but I've started reading it again (not far in), and the influence is so obvious.
First, the genre. The Theatre of the Absurd...says it all really...repetitions, clich├ęs, a sense of 'nothing'...
Second....a Tragicomedy....all books run this line, with my extra of a happy/not-so-happy ending to give a sense of closure.
Third, there are direct lines which say it all...
"People are bloody ignorant apes"....well, there ya go, in all the books...
"...we had to wait....by the tree"....two people waiting by the tree....'Man by a tree'...yet another reason why the title.
I'm sure once I go further into the play (yet again), I'll find more and more comparisons and connections, as I luv this genre. I'll keep you posted.

Friday, November 2, 2012

No news from the big competition :-(

As it says, so I guess my novelette wasn't good enough for them. I'll put the whole thing on authonomy.com next week, I'll put the link up here, and let's see what people think. When I've done the 4th book...writing it in November, then editing until it's done....I'll add the novelette to that. Maybe the 4th book won't be 50k, who knows. Will continue on, see how it goes...
Bit sad, really, just shows me that publishers and editors have expectations already written in their heads. One guy on authonomy.com said he'd been to a conference where a group of editors were read out the first sentences of 'promising' unpublished novels. The authors read out the sentences, and not one author was allowed to finish, because the editors hated them all, even after the first half-sentence!
Woolf had to self-publish, look where her work is now. I'm sure we could all name tons more who did the same.

Thursday, November 1, 2012

NaNoWrimo 2012 1st anniversary

Well, it's started again! 50,000 words in one month. I started writing exactly 1 year ago, so I guess it's my 1st anniversary! Where's the cake?
3 books, 1 novelette (waiting for news on the competition, then I'll publish it) , and a huge idea for a great new book for NaNoWrimo, 3 main characters, 1 crazy (The Puncher), 1 not so crazy (Graham the grim reaper), the other just plain nuts (The Forgiven, yes, no 2nd novelette, but a player in the 4th book). A crazy triangle.