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Sunday, June 30, 2013

Reginald

Finished 3 years of college, finally! While I was waiting for my last oral exam, I asked my fellow students if they'd read one of my books and one of them said "I'd never read one of your 'religion' books."
Religion? My books are anti-establishment, anti-church, anti-politics, anti-civilisation, anti-whatever, but not 'religion' or even 'religious' - what do you expect from L2 students...
So I thought...and I think I'm going to change the name 'God' to 'Reginald' as I had originally planned to do before finishing 'Man by a tree'. I used the word 'God' because I thought that would help the reader but now I see that it might have turned readers away...so those with an old copy of one of my books, you might be holding onto a 'collector's item' if I ever get famous (yeah, right)! So, I'll gradually be changing all the books from now on....might take a few weeks or a month, though.
UPDATE: 'Manna-X' is in the process already, will be ready tomorrow, I hope...:-)

Friday, June 28, 2013

One piece of paper makes a difference?

Why yes, of course it does. It may be a mere piece of paper, but depending on what's printed on it, it can open or close doors. It is so strange that one piece of paper can have so much power...
I'm not just talking about my BA here (which I've just got, by the way) but other paper, too, medical papers, immigration papers, business papers, etc, etc.
Here's the old Hungarian 'bear' and 'deathlist' joke...:-)

The bear writes a death list. News of his death list spread across the forest like wildfire. 
Some of the animals who hear about it decide to go ask the bear about the list, thinking, that living in uncertainty is worse than knowing for certain that a bear is going to eat you. 
So, the fox goes to the bear and asks him about the list.
'Excuse me bear, is it true that you have a death list?' asks the fox.
`Yes.' says the bear.
`Well... is my name on it?'
`I don't know, let me check...' says the bear, and then he pulls out the death list. `Yes, you're on the list.'
And the bear eats the fox.
A few days later the wolf comes by and asks the bear about the list.
`Excuse me bear, is it true that you wrote a death list?' asks the wolf.
`Yes.' says the bear.
`Okay... is my name on it?'
`I
don't know, let me check... Yep, afraid so...'
And the bear eats the wolf.
A couple of days later the rabbit comes by and asks the bear about the death list.
`Excuse me bear, is it true that you have a death list?' asks the rabbit.
`Yes.' says the bear.
`Tell me... is my name on it?'
`I
don't know, let me check... Yes, afraid so, you're on the list'
`Excuse me bear... but couldn't you... take my name off the list?'
`Why not?'

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Manna-X copies :-)

Just received a few copies of 'Manna-X'...it looks VERY good, infact it's a little bigger than I'd planned, but then it's a BIG BOOK. So, go get a copy, you won't regret it! It should be in the shops, but unfortunately no big publisher 'gives a shit'.
The latest comment about 'Manna-X' is that it's 'irreverant'...yes, definitely 'anti-church' but that's not all that's in it, there are some laughs and complete craziness. So if you like a laugh but hate the church, go and have a look at it. Of course, there's always 'Bethlehem Fiasco' too, if you really want to see 'church-bashing' :-) And 'Man by a tree' for true irreverance...and 'Rage' for anti-civilisation!
Well over 10,000 hits for the blog now...but then someone put the flea in my ear and said it was all robots, those sites which are databases that collect information by hitting your site. I checked the 'traffic sources' (because you can do that) and there are a few 'robots' but less than 10% of last month from a 'filmhill.com' or something. The mass majority of you are 'human' or 'monkey', take your pick :-) It would be nice if some of you who are looking would actually buy too! 'Manna-X' would be a nice start. How many links to 'Manna-X' can I put in one post...?

Saturday, June 22, 2013

Random 'Manna-X' excerpt 5 - page 113 (ish)

Lucky strike for excerpt 5! Satan and Lucifer in a restaurant. The funny thing about this is (really?) is that this happened in real life with beer. They'd run out of half pint glasses and only had pints. I only wanted a half but they wouldn't pour half into a full pint glass because I could've been an inspector...get that.


"Excuse me?" Satan clicked his fingers together and Lucifer tried to disappear. The waiter took his time coming over.
"Yes...sir?"
"I'd like a soup."
"A soup, sir?"
"Yes. You do have them, don't you?"
"This is a restaurant, sir, we have soup. See?" The waiter pointed to some now empty tables filled with bowls of brimming hot soup, untouched.
"Yes, I see. That's a lot of uneaten soup."
"Yes, sir."
"I'd like a thick, creamy, mushroom soup. And you, Luci?" Lucifer was halfway off the table, trying to escape.
"Me? Oh, err, onion, onion soup."
The waiter jotted it down on his pad.
"Small portions. Don't want to put on any more weight." Satan gave his infamous smile.
"I'm sorry, sir, the small portions are all sold out today. We only have large portions left."
"Oh." Satan looked at Lucifer.
"I can see the logic in that." Lucifer pointed at all the empty tables.
"Oh, okay, we'll have large portions, then."
"Absolutely, sir. Would you like a drink, sir?"
"Why? You offering?"
The waiter paused for a moment and left with the soup order. Satan got back to his story.
"Anyway, where was I?"
"Being irritating."

Blog hits versus Sales?

With over 10,000 hits on my blog now I was thinking, if I had that many sales, I'd be a very happy person for 2 reasons.
The 1st reason is that there would be a lot more readers who gave my style of writing a CHANCE and so gave THEMSELVES a chance to grow, to move away from the CLONE LITERARY MARKET - they want you to buy what they make, they're easy to make, they're formulaic, they keep your brain DEAD for future sales. The CLONE LITERARY MARKET wants you to STAY DUMB.
I want you to THINK FOR YOURSELF. If you buy I'll write you a VAMPIRE book if you really want! Or maybe EROTICA! (ha)
The 2nd reason is that I would've got a bit of money ... 35 cents on a Kindle or about 70 cents on a paperback, that would mean anything between 3500 and 7000 dollars! In Hungary that's a lot of money, enough to allow me to concentrate on finding the PERFECT SENTENCE :-)
On the same matter, thanks to Anonymous with an Á, for buying 'Manna-X'.
By the way, whoever you may be reading this post right now, you too can buy it here (I get a little more royalty actually just over 2 dollars for a paperback!) or on Amazon.com or Amazon.co.uk (where I get much less - but at least YOU will have a book which wants you to GROW!). :-)

Thursday, June 20, 2013

Over 10,000 views!! Yippie!

Let's celebrate! The blog has well over 10,000 views now, and the Top 10 countries are...

United States
3075
Hungary
1715
Russia
988
United Kingdom
936
Germany
576
Ukraine
399
Netherlands
377
France
316
Poland
177
Turkey
128
Russia and the Ukraine are the BIG surprises for me but I'm surprised you're here, too :-)
Yesterday I even got a hit from Puerto Rico...
Now, what to write about today? Wrote a few short stories yesterday and had an idea for a book (with no hobgoblins). I plan to write a collection of 500 word stories, using Brian Roger's Challenge elements - it is not only a great exercise, but any one of these stories could be turned into a book...a lifetime's supply of creative ideas! Yes, I could write...FOREVER!!! -find a bridge now :-)~
...I might even start a 'Literary Award'...stop all those CLONES...call it 'The Iceberg Literary Award'...:-)

















Wednesday, June 19, 2013

A definition of today's 'good' literature...

After researching this for my thesis, I found a small subjective list of things a 'good' book should be/have. I'm not talking about what some dead guy thought 'good' literature is - that person can't read today's stuff...he's dead. So anyone who died 50 years ago can't really give an opinion of today's books...if you get my meaning...
I also found that there aren't many books which come close to including all 6 'points', with Coetzee's 'Disgrace' only scoring 5 1/2 out of 6 for his stereotypical black characters (yes, I did check to see whether 'black' was politically correct).
So, a 'good' book (in the opinion of linguists, grammaticians, journalists, reviewers, teachers, students, general readers, writers)...
1. must have a collection of elements such as story, plot, points of view and hooks - it's amazing how many self-published books don't have these...
2. shouldn't be 'formulaic', ie. following a pattern laid down in earlier books from the same / other writers...oh dear, that's most of today's market...filled with clones and copies...
3. should have some meaning and purpose beneath the story / entertainment - many massively popular writers have nothing 'underneath', with their readers 'creating' depth from the books, and so making the writers more 'worthy' of other readers' attention than they should be...
4. should give something back to the reader, in terms of something special or a lesson / moral - so many clones give nothing, only their entertainment value, which quite frankly isn't enough...
5. should contain realistic characters based on the experience of the writer - so many writers have stereotypical or 'commonly defined' characters...(before you mention it, no, I don't personally know God or Satan, but I know a few people who act like they are and so I can create characters based on them and call them God / Satan / Lucifer....etc)
6. should be recognised as such, with reviews, complements and awards - saying that, there are some Booker Prize winners who fail this 'good' literature definition due to sensationalism...not naming any names...(me? I have interviews and a few reviews, won a few small competitions...)
So there you go. Look at the book you're reading right now. Check the list of 6. How does it do?
I'll continue working on an OBJECTIVE definition for the rest of my life (1 second - 50+ years), I've already found out how to 'box' writers into 'clone drawers' (ie. this writer has so and so's style, with so and so's lexical items and so and so's discoursal structure...)

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

'Manna-X' Head thing

There are two huge influences in 'Manna-X'. One of them is 'Waiting for Godot', with the three hobgoblins playing out the roles with boots, hats and damn craziness of nothingness, along with the four Bobs after they have been...moved. But mainly the hobgoblins.
The other influence is 'The Master and Margarita'. What a book. There's a certain quote by one character which says something like "What use is a head?" I took it many ways :-) Why don't you have a read? It's damn cheap as an ebook. It's worth the money just for the complete King Solomon collection, which includes many fantastic toys such as [censored due to wanting someone to buy the thing].

Monday, June 17, 2013

Interview by the GREAT Paul Dorset

A long time ago, far, far away in a distant galaxy... Paul Dorset 'gave' me an interview. He has 59k followers on twitter, has written a million books, and also has a freebie 'Ryann'.
Here is the interview, it's quite funny as it goes...
http://blog.pauldorset.com/2013/05/author-interview-dani-j-caile.html
I had actually forgotten about this. I did this just before writing 'Manna-X', which now has two 5 star reviews!
I'll hopefully have another soon with another great self-published author :-)

Sunday, June 16, 2013

New 5 star review for 'Manna-X' :-)

Yes, a fantastic review on Amazon.co.uk! Thank you!
Here's the link...
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Manna-X-Dani-J-Caile/dp/1490371702
But here it is anyway :-)

5.0 out of 5 stars Undeniably Clever and Ever-So-Slightly Batty! 16 Jun 2013
By Rebecca
Format:Paperback
Dani J Caile's 'Manna - X' is an extremely entertaining and hugely humourous read. It's a story full of wit and tongue-in-cheek interpretations of all (well, not quite all) things Christianity'ish and the peculiarities of modern life. It has a great plot which follows fascinating characters in their race to retrieve the Manna-X machine, and often had me chortling aloud at the undeniably clever and ever-so-slightly batty imagination of the author. I found myself at times wondering how on earth someone could come up with such plausible, yet, completely off-the-wall, alternative explanations about burning bushes, the 10 Commandments and the like. A good laugh. Highly recommended!



Random 'Manna-X' excerpt 4 - page 51 (выдержка 4)

Random Excerpt 4 from 'Manna-X', page 51. It's even in Russian (Google Translate, of course :-))


"An afterlife! I must get back to tell! I must!" The head floated up to connect with the body as it regressed back to its former formless self.
"Back? Get back? Whatever makes you think you're going back? This is it, buddy. Done. Completo. Or non pieno in your case."
"What? Yes, back. I called emergency before I fell off the roof."
Graham saw that wasn't the only thing the guy had done. He'd set it up in true 'Darwin award' style. The guy had dug enough sharp objects into the ground below the roof that would keep an invasion away. He was sure the collection of garden shears next to the front door could stop a tank.
"Fell? You jumped. I'm surprised I'm even here. Anyhow, you didn't reckon on the usual mid-afternoon mothers-picking-up-their-kids-from-school traffic and those new roadworks they've just opened up on the B-road from the hospital, did you?"
"What? Are you telling me...?"
"Yes, you've been on that spike for a while now. But don't worry, stupidity is not part of the criteria for going 'up above'..." Graham's communicator bleeped. He answered it while the soul walked around, still trying to work out what had happened.
"Yes?"
"Graham! Get back here right now! The boss has got a job for ya! You've got to see Deirdre in her office. Now!"

"Загробной жизни! Я должен вернуться сказать! Я должен!" Глава всплыла, чтобы соединиться с телом, как это регресс к своей былой бесформенное себя.

"Назад? Вернусь? Что заставляет вас думать, что вы собираетесь вернуться? Вот оно, приятель. Готово. Completo. Pieno или не в вашем случае."

"Что? Да, спины. Я вызвал скорую, прежде чем я упал с крыши."

Грэм увидел, что была не единственная вещь, парень сделал. Он поставил его в стиле "Дарвин премия« правда.Парень вырыл достаточно острые предметы в землю под крышей, что будет держать вторжения далеко. Он был уверен, что коллекция садовые ножницы рядом с входной дверью может остановить танк.

"Упал? Вы прыгали. Я удивлен, я даже здесь. Во всяком случае, вы не рассчитывали на обычных середине дня матерей-подъем-их-Дети-из-школы пробок также новые дорожные работы, они уже только что открыли на B-дорогу от больницы, а вам? "

"Что? Вы говорите мне ...?"

"Да, вы были на шип, что на некоторое время теперь. Но не волнуйтесь, глупость не является частью критериев собирается 'наверху' ..." Коммуникатор Грэма гудками. Он ответил на него в то время как душа ходил, все еще пытаясь понять, что случилось.

"Да?"

"Грэм! Вернись прямо сейчас босс есть работа для тебя! Ты должен увидеть Дейдра в ее кабинете. Сейчас!"

Jesus was a stand up comedian!

Only a few more hits to the 10,000! Hello India!
Perhaps this will do it...
For the past few months, someone's been dropping little pieces of paper which have "Jesus lives" and "Jesus is King" written on them. Just down one street, my street. Do they know something? Is it someone I know? 'Bethlehem Fiasco' is a great little read if you ever get the chance...
Thinking about it, perhaps Jesus was a stand up comedian! He turned water into wine? Healed the sick? Perhaps it was his presence, you know some people, when they walk into a room, make you feel fantastic, they have 'presence', they make you feel great. Perhaps Jesus was someone like that, they made the people feel so good that outsiders thought they were drinking wine rather than water...
Oh, it's just a tiny little thought, nothing serious. But if I'd said that a few 100 years ago, I would've been burned at the stack, after having my [censored] and my [censored]...churches and religions, huh. "No one expects the Spanish In...!"

Friday, June 14, 2013

Random 'Manna-X' excerpt 3 - page 145

This seems to be popular, posting 'random' pages - look, really, they are random. Take this one, for example, typical plot moving page.
Page 145...:-)
(only 100 hits to go to the BIG 10,000 for the blog!!)


"Where am I?" Alicia's words came out before she opened her eyes. Once open, she was staring straight at the rooftops of a city through a wall to wall window in a small studio apartment.
"Ah, you're back. Want tea?" Graham was sitting at the table in his open plan kitchen cum living room, inspecting Alicia's necklace and pendant.
"Where am I?" By the looks of it, she was in this man's apartment. A strange man's apartment. A dream come true, but not the way she'd imagined.
"This is my place, not much but it makes do."
Alicia sat up on the sofa. Nice flat, shame about the face. She slapped her hands on the cushions to get Graham's attention.
"Look, I...I...what...who...who are you? What do you want? Why am I here?"
"That's a lot of questions. My name's Graham."
"Yes, that I do know." Ordinary face, ordinary name. "Why am I here?"
"Because of this. Or rather what it leads to."
"My head hurts."
"It would. Monk...humans aren't meant to go through portals, least not live ones."
"What?"
"Portals. I sent you through two...well, three to get here. They're not exactly healthy for physical beings."

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Random 'Manna-X' excerpt 2 - page 74

Well, this is 'random' excerpt number 2, part of page...74 of 'Manna-X'!
I was able to put things in this book I thought I'd never be able to put in a book. But I did :-)




“Good, good. We are keeping up with them, whatever they are doing, and one step in front of the others. Ah, it's better to be ahead.”
“Much better to be a whole body,” said Lucifer under his hood.
Satan was getting tired of these jibes from Lucifer. Why couldn't he stare in his mirror as he usually did and be quiet. A little light bulb flickered on in his head, went out, flickered, out again, then burned intensely until the filament went 'pop'. A new bulb was put in.
“Luci, my dear, you are a genius!”
“What?”
“A genius! A head! Come with me!” Satan took Lucifer by the hand, perhaps for the first and last time ever in physical infinity, and tugged him through the bar to the double doors at the back which led to the offices, laboratories, torture rooms, baths and dog grooming parlours.
“Heads, dear boy, heads.”
“Yes, it's good to have one. On the neck is a good place.”
“Mmm, some people are not so fortunate, as you will see.”
Lucifer never liked going into the backrooms with Satan, he couldn't be sure what he'd find.

2nd win in 'The Iron Writer Challenge!'

I won a second time! With 45 votes this time. Hey, it's just a popularity vote, though but still...





Here's the story if you missed it..."Whoops"...it's loosely based on Virigina Woolf's 'stream of consciousness' technique, with only thoughts and dialogue, with one action to end and finalise it.
http://theironwriter.com/the-stories/challenge-15/

Random 'Manna-X' excerpt 1 - page 117

Yes, I'll be putting on 'random' pages of 'Manna-X' on my blog. Truely random, to show what's inside :-)
Here's page 117 of 276 (actually the beginning of Chapter 10 - Sicknotised and Dead) - completely random, really.



"I love my pet rabbit, Fluffy. I love the way he sits in my arms, twitching his nose and munching away at his lettuce leaf. And when he got sick the other week, I loved him even more, until he got better, and then I loved him even more. I love the rain, too, as it hits the windowpane and falls down in wavy droplets all the way down to the bottom of the frame. I love it when the smoke escapes from the chimneys of the far-far-away factories, and the clouds, the clouds, they..."
Bob 1 listened to this creature continue on. Where was he? What was he doing? Why was he here? Who was he? He turned to the next person in the seated circle.
"Err, excuse me, but where am I?"
"Here, I think." Bob 2 was also having trouble.
"Right. And, err, how long have I been here?"
"Well, when did you get here?" Bob 3 entered the conversation.
"I don't know." The first speaker coughed as they were now becoming quite loud and were disturbing his 'sharing time'.
"And, if I may ask, how long have you been here?" Bob 2 gained back the floor from Bob 3.
"I don't know." Bob 1 racked his brains.
"Well, that's how long." Bob 4 gave the final assumption.
"Thanks, I feel...reassured now."

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

What's the Problem?

I'm waiting for some copies of 'Manna-X' to come, it'll take a week or two, so I picked up 'Rage' and read a bit. Then a bit more. And a bit more. Got to page 56 in half an hour. 'Rage' is a fantastic book. I then had a look at 'Man by a tree' and 'Bethlehem Fiasco'. They're both great, too. Is it just me? In my own eyes? No. Whoever has a read likes them. I only ever got 2 bad reviews, both from Indians who couldn't (can't) read English. So they don't count.
So, what's the problem? Maybe I should include vampires, werewolves and lots of teenage romance and sex...but then where's the lesson? The only lesson I see there is that [censored...very censored]
Just noticed I'm getting to 10,000 hits on this blog, with over 1000 per month. I think that's pretty good going.

Monday, June 10, 2013

Manna-X already has an Amazon rating!

Wow! 'Manna-X' has a rating in Amazon.co.uk's 'Books': 150,310 in Books! I don't think that's so good, but I don't think I've ever had a 'rating' so high there before!
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Manna-X-Dani-J-Caile/dp/1490371702
Oh, and here's the full finished cover, if you were wondering...



Sunday, June 9, 2013

Good for Grisham

John Grisham, the 'undisputed master of the legal thriller' with..."The Racketeer"...I think that title suits him quite well. Yet again, the same formulaic book...one book out every couple of months, each with over describing of clothes, buildings, facial movements, interlaced with bad 'B' movie dialogue...I congratulate Grisham! He has captured the hearts and minds of hundreds of 1000s of readers with this stuff! He's smarter than me, thinking the readers' market is full of dumbass nobrainers. I congratulate him on getting what I call a 'tenure' publishing contract with a major publisher - whatever he writes, they print... his words, however awful they are, make a lot of money. Really, I can't read one page without finding something to shout about.
And me? No sales, no nothing. Entertaining books with an enriching philosophical filling...but no readers...
So I applaud John Grisham, and all those other writers with their formulaic six-monthers!

Me? Finally, Amazon has got my stuff together, 'Manna-X', can now be seen in both paperback and Kindle!
http://www.amazon.com/Manna-X-Dani-J-Caile/dp/1490371702

Saturday, June 8, 2013

Manna-X available! 5 star review!

So, if you want to have a good laugh, lose some stress, put a smile on your face...or try to understand the meaning to life, the universe and everyfish, then here you are, 'Manna-X'!
I already have a 5 star review on Amazon.com from the now famous Jasper T. Scott!
5.0 out of 5 stars Manna-X is one Roar of Laughter After the Next!, June 8, 2013
By 
Jasper T. Scott This review is from: Manna-X (Paperback)
Manna-X is a light read, filled with fun characters and witty jabs at everything and anything. There are a few parts to take offense to if you have a religious background, but nothing too major for most to appreciate. Overall, the story flows very well and the writer's clever wit shines through on every page. The story follows just about every character on a chase through time and space to find the Code 237, or Manna-X machine, which was used by Moses in the desert to produce manna from the sky--among many other things. The plot of this book reminds me of Big Trouble by Dave Barry, while the writer's style, as always, hearkens back to Douglas Adams. If you need to de-stress and have a good laugh, then this is the perfect book for you!
Paperback...
http://www.amazon.com/Manna-X-Dani-J-Caile/dp/1490371702
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Manna-X-Dani-J-Caile/dp/1490371702
Ebook...
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00D94CWF0
https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00D94CWF0
https://www.amazon.fr/dp/B00D94CWF0
https://www.amazon.es/dp/B00D94CWF0
https://www.amazon.de/dp/B00D94CWF0
etc..:-)


Chasing a rainbow

Today I started with a horrible written exam and finished chasing a rainbow.
Yes, two hours doing a listening, reading, writing and linguistic (AHH!) exam, coming home to go have a look at the flood waters in Budapest. Then we went to a dance performance in some remote village 20km out (it looked like the only entertainment that village got all year), got rained on twice, and watched a surreal performance of four boys in folk dance costume dancing with white handkerchiefs between their legs - reminded me of the MP fish slapping dance. When we were coming home, we saw the end of a rainbow and I tried to find it...this was the 2nd time I'd tried this...sometimes I forget science...am I looking for the pot of gold?
Manna-X is in Amazon !
Ebook...
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00D94CWF0
Paperback...
http://www.amazon.com/Manna-X-Dani-J-Caile/dp/1490371702

Thursday, June 6, 2013

Manna-X a day away...

Yes, Manna-X is going through the Createspace review, though I'll have to do it once again, I found a typo...
What is it about? Well, we're all looking for something, aren't we? You're not? Super. Exactly. Right. Where was I?
I did a concordance on 'Manna-X'...words (+related) and it's a bit 'Freudian'...and people say there's no sex in my books :-) Here are a few of the most repeated words....

...blood, boy, girl, hole, man, physical...only 2 words actually related to sex (sexual + sexuality) but a lot of words related to...stone, stood, straight...:-)
Of course, there are other words, such as...
...book, chicken...(???), code, creature, deal, death, door, face, light, mind, problem, room, shepherd, window...
Only 11 toilet related words, sorry.
But 'chicken'?...just had a look in ze book, yes, a lot of chickens!




Challenge 15 + Crome Yellow (Aldous Huxley)

Challenge 15 is up! Please read and cast your vote - for Dani J Caile, of course :-)
http://theironwriter.com/the-stories/challenge-15/ 
It would be so nice to win again!

The other day I ordered an old-of-print book for my partner in an antiquarian down the road and found a ton of English books. It was a treasure trove. With my lunch money I bought a 1937 copy of Aldous Huxley's 1st book 'Crome Yellow'. I have to be careful when turning the pages because they crumble away.
It's extraordinary, it's wonderful. I love the book - and I haven't even finished reading it yet. I thoroughly recommend it! So wry and witty!
http://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/1999 (for those who can't find one in print)

...oh yes, and please vote :-) (see above)

Monday, June 3, 2013

Challenge 15!!! + a 2nd caption win!

Well, I'm into Challenge 15 of the Iron Writer's Challenge, I have a few days to write another 500 worder (actually, I've done it already). A few writers had to drop out/were unresponsive, so Brian Rogers has allowed me a second bite at the bit! Would be so good to win again...now that WOULD be something.
Once it's up, I'll post the link!
The 4 elements are a single super power, an elegy, a wooden water tower and a theremin...













AND I've just won Clive Eaton's Caption Competition for the second time! Twice in a row!
Go and have a look at what I put...:-)
http://www.cliveeaton.com/captioncompetitionforauthors.html

Sunday, June 2, 2013

3 Hobgoblins nonsense - Manna-X Extract

Just thought I'd post a little bit of the new book 'Manna-X' before publishing (hopefully this week).
It's an end piece on the 3 hobgoblins, Ekron, Sniff and Grint (Sniff and Grint were also in 'Man by a tree' and to a smaller extent, 'The Bethlehem Fiasco' - Grint only got a mention there). Hobgoblins are such fun to write for! Thanks to some of my students for a few lines here :-)
(English - Russian - Hungarian -French - German) - by Google Translate (because GT is so funny!)
I'm still amazed about where people read this blog from...I got a hit from Malaysia the other day!


The three hobgoblins looking on from a distance just sat there, mending their wounds and watching the scene play out. Ekron opened his mouth first.
"When I was a little hob, I thought that the sun chased the moon."
Sniff sniffed and laughed until his bruised ribs told him otherwise.
"Yeah, well, you're just stupid. Everyone knows the reason why the moon goes down is 'cause it's tired."
Now Grint joined in with the laughter, though subdued. They went back to watching Graham talking first to the dying female monkey and then to the soul.
"This kind of thing makes me think about the big questions in life."
"What are ya? You getting sentinal-mental?" Grint gave his tuppence.
"Big questions? For example?" Sniff found something for his now bleeding nose. Ekron opened his mouth but contemplated for too long on what to say. Grint beat him to it.
"Why do bees make honey?"
"Good one." Sniff held what can only be described as a mouldy rag under his nose and held his head back. "That's easy."
Both Grint and Ekron turned to Sniff, hanging on the dramatic pause.
"Cosmetics."
"Oh, yeah, yeah, 'course." Sniff and Grint were happy, but Ekron wasn't convinced.
"I always thought it was for the money."
"That too." Sniff's reply ended the debate. Grint spoke aside to Sniff.
"Good bluff." They gave each other a hidden low five.

Три домовых глядя на издалека просто сидел там, чинили свои раны и наблюдает за происходящим разыграть. Аккарона открыл рот первым.
"Когда я была маленькой конфорке, я думал, что солнце преследовали луны".
Sniff понюхал и смеялся, пока его синяки на ребрах не сказал ему в противном случае.
"Да, ну, ты просто глуп. Каждый знает причину, почему Луна спускается это потому, что это устал".
Сейчас Гринт присоединился к смеху, хотя покорил. Они вернулись к просмотру Грэм говорил первый умирающей женщины обезьяны, а затем в душе.
"Такого рода вещи заставляет меня думать о больших вопросов в жизни."
"Что ты? Вы получаете Sentinal-психические?" Гринт дал Таппенс.
"Большие вопросы? Например?" Sniff нашел что-то для своей теперь уже кровотечение носом. Аккарона открыл рот, но предполагается, слишком долго, что сказать. Гринт опередил его.
"Почему пчелы делают мед?"
"Хороший". Sniff держали то, что может быть охарактеризована только как заплесневелые тряпки под нос и держал его голову назад. "Это легко".
Оба Гринт и Екрон повернулся, чтобы понюхать, висит на драматическую паузу.
"Косметика".
"О, да, да," конечно ". Sniff и Гринт были счастливы, но Аккарона это не убедило.
"Я всегда думал, что это за деньги."
"И это тоже." Sniff в ответ конец дебатам. Гринт говорил в сторону, чтобы понюхать.
"Хороший блеф." Они дали друг другу скрытые низким пять.


A három gnómok néző messziről csak ült ott, javítás sebeiket, és figyelte a jelenetet játszanak el. Ekron kinyitotta a száját az első.
"Amikor egy kicsit főzőlap, azt hittem, hogy a nap üldözte a hold."
Sniff szipogott és nevetett, amíg a sérült bordái mondta neki egyébként.
"Igen, te csak hülye. Mindenki tudja, hogy az oka annak, hogy a hold lemegy a" mert fáradt. "
Most Grint csatlakozott a nevetés, mégis visszafogott. Visszamentek nézni Graham beszélt először a haldokló nőstény majom, majd a lélek.
"Ez a fajta dolog, ami eszembe a nagy kérdések az életben."
: "Mi vagy te? Veszed Sentinal-lelki?" Grint adta két forint.
"Nagy kérdés? Például?" Sniff találtak valamit a már vérző orrát. Ekron nyitotta a száját, de tervezik túl sokáig, hogy mit mond. Grint verte őt.
"Miért méhek mézet?"
"Jó volt." Sniff tartott, amit csak le, mint a penészes rongyot az orra és fogta a fejét. "Ez könnyű."
Mind Grint és Ekron fordult szippantás, lóg a drámai szünet.
"Kozmetikai".
"Ó, igen, igen," Természetesen. " Sniff és Grint volt boldog, de Ekron nem volt meggyőződve.
"Mindig azt hittem, hogy a pénz."
"Az is." Sniff válasza véget ért a vita. Grint beszélt félre szippantás.
"blöff." Adtak egymásnak egy rejtett kis öt.
 


Les trois lutins à la recherche à partir d'une distance juste assis là, réparant leurs blessures et en regardant la scène se jouer. Eqrôn ouvrit sa bouche en premier.
«Quand j'étais petite plaque de cuisson, je pensais que le soleil a chassé la lune."
Sniff renifla et se mit à rire jusqu'à ce que ses côtes meurtries lui ont dit le contraire.
"Ouais, eh bien, vous êtes tout simplement stupide. Tout le monde sait pourquoi la lune descend est parce que c'est fatigué."
Maintenant Grint rejoint avec le rire, quoique modérée. Ils retournèrent à regarder Graham parler d'abord à la mort femelle singe puis à l'âme.
«Ce genre de chose me fait penser aux grandes questions de la vie."
"Que vas-tu? Vous obtention sentinal-mental?" Grint a donné son tuppence.
"De grandes questions? Par exemple?" Sniff trouvé quelque chose pour son nez saigne maintenant. Eqrôn ouvrit la bouche, mais envisage depuis trop longtemps sur ce qu'il faut dire. Grint le devança.
"Pourquoi les abeilles fabriquent le miel?"
"Elle est bonne." Sniff tenue ce qui peut seulement être décrit comme un chiffon moisi sous son nez et a tenu la tête en arrière. «C'est facile."
Les deux Grint et Ekron se sont tournés vers Sniff, accroché à la pause dramatique.
«Cosmétiques».
"Oh, ouais, ouais,« bien sûr ». Sniff et Grint étaient heureux, mais Eqrôn n'était pas convaincu.
«J'ai toujours pensé que c'était pour l'argent."
«C'est trop». Sniff de la réponse a clos le débat. Grint a parlé de côté pour Sniff.
"Good bluff." Ils ont donné à l'autre un peu caché cinq.


Die drei Kobolde suchen aus der Ferne saß einfach nur da, Ausbessern ihre Wunden und beobachtete die Szene spielen. Ekron öffnete seinen Mund zuerst.
"Als ich ein kleiner Herd war, dachte ich, dass die Sonne den Mond gejagt."
Sniff schniefte und lachte, bis seine Rippenprellung sagte ihm ansonsten.
"Ja, gut, du bist einfach nur dumm. Jeder kennt den Grund, warum der Mond untergeht wird denn es ist müde."
Jetzt Grint verbunden mit dem Lachen, obwohl gedämpft. Sie ging zurück zu beobachten Graham spricht zunächst den Sterbenden weiblichen Affen und dann auf der Seele.
"Diese Art der Sache lässt mich denken, über die großen Fragen des Lebens."
"Was sind ya? Bekommen Sie sentinal-geistige?" Grint gab seine tuppence.
"Big Fragen? Zum Beispiel?" Schnüffeln fand etwas für seinen jetzt blutet die Nase. Ekron öffnete den Mund, aber in Betracht gezogen zu lange, was zu sagen. Grint kam ihm zuvor.
"Warum Bienen machen Honig?"
"Good one." Gehalten, was man nur als schimmelig Lappen unter die Nase zu beschreiben und hielt seinen Kopf in den Nacken zu schnuppern. "Das ist einfach."
Sowohl Grint und Ekron wandte sich an Schnüffeln, hängen an der dramatische Pause.
"Kosmetik".
"Oh, yeah, yeah," natürlich. "Schnüffeln und Grint waren glücklich, aber Ekron war nicht überzeugt.
"Ich dachte immer, es war für das Geld."
"Das auch." Sniff Antwort endete die Debatte. Grint sprach beiseite, um zu schnuppern.
"Good Bluff." Sie gaben einander einen versteckten niedrig fünf.


Post about Manna-X + Iron Challenge!

Here's my post on Robbie Cox's blog! It goes on about 'elements' and the Iron Challenge, and Manna-X.
The Mess That Is Me...http://www.themessthatisme.com/2013/06/dani-j.html
Just one click away...:-)