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Friday, January 31, 2014

Rewrote Challenge 49...The Muppet Show! :-)

Yes, I just didn't feel that my entry for Challenge 49 was any good, really. It was okay, but not up to a high standard. As it stands, I won't win the challenge, and I don't need to, being only a substitute for someone who pulled out.
BUT...one of the elements was 'a muppet', so I couldn't just NOT do a Muppet sketch, now could I?

I put it in the comments on the page, and if you can leave a comment, I'd love that :-)
http://theironwriter.com/challenge-49/
Please! A comment...:-)
But hey, here it is anyway...

Muppet Respect


"What's on?"
"Let's see...oh, right, the Muppet Show! Always good for a laugh."
We sat down on the sofa to get ready for some entertainment.
"Kermit! We've gotta have that flamingo dancing act on right now!" Scooter came racing backstage.
"But Miss Piggy is stuck in the elevator!" said Kermit.
"Kermie! Get me outta here!"
"We're working on it, Miss Piggy!"
The elevator engineer turned to the camera.
"If you'd kept to the maximum weight restrictions..."
"I heard that!"
"Kermit!" shouted Scooter.
"Send in the clowns!"
A collection of crazy clowns with chainsaws ran onto the stage. Kermit heard the sound of screams from the audience and the motors slicing through limbs.
"Send out the clowns!"
A clown with a bloody chainsaw came back offstage.
"What? We're killing them out there!"
"That's my problem! Scooter, get them off the stage!"
The clowns left, disappointed.
"No one likes clowns anymore."
"Especially with chainsaws," retorted Kermit. Fonzie appeared with a green zombie.
"I'll go on, Kermit, with my new partner, Braindead."
"But he's a zombie!"
"And you're gonna hold that against him?"
Scooter appeared again.
"Kermit, they've started throwing food!"
"Oh, Kermie! When exactly are you going to get me outta here?" asked Miss Piggy, still stuck.
"In a moment, Miss Piggy!"
The engineer shook his head and restarted his cutting torch.
"I promise!"
"Now they're throwing their colostomy bags and Prosthetic limbs!"
Gonzo walked by with an artificial leg.
"Hey, I can use this in an act.Where's my wonderful Camilla? Camilla?"
Fonzie went down on one knee.
"Please, Kermit, please!"
"Oh, okay, then! Go! Get out there!"  Kermit sighed.
The music started and the double act went on, wearing large blonde wigs.
"I tell ya Fonzie, I got stuck in an elevator the other day for 3 hours!"
"3 hours! Kerrrrrmiiiiie!" shouted Miss Piggy offstage.
"3 hours?" asked Fonzie.
"Yeah, it was torture."
"Well, that's nothing. I got stuck on an escalator for six!" Fonzie looked towards the audience, accompanied by a drum roll and cymbal crash.
Statler and Waldorf woke up in their balcony seats.
"If I had a joke that flat..."
"...it would be a pancake!" They both laughed.
Braindead was now holding a sign showing a red cross painted over a sine function.
"Hey, what ya doing?"
"I'm protesting against Trigonometry."
"Really, well, what's that?"
"It's a 'stop sine'."
Another drum roll and cymbal crash. Statler and Waldorf started again.
"Well, that one really 'divided' the audience."
Fonzie tried to ignore them.
"What have you got there, buddy?"
"It's Bruce Lee's "Tao of Jeet Kune Do"." Braindead was eating it. "I like to read and digest a book."
There were a few laughs.
"Man, I don't know about you, but I'm always hungry an hour after eating Chinese."
Statler and Waldorf beat the drums.
"I don't know about you, but I found that one 'wonton'."
Drum roll and cymbal crash.
Fonzie and Braindead left the stage.
"How did it go, Fonzie?" asked Kermit.
"Don't ask, just don't ask."





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