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Wednesday, February 26, 2014

First Annual 2014 Iron Blog Tour


And here it is, the First Annual 2014 Iron Blog Tour (Day 2...err 3)!
Day 1 (Monday) was Jordan Bell with 'The Price of Ambition' here.
Day 2 (Tuesday) was, well, err...
Day 3 (Wednesday) is..me!

But first, a word from K.A. DaVur, our illustrious leader of this fine Birthday Blog Hop :-)

"Four elements, four days, 500 words. It’s a daunting task, one that will hone the skills of any writer. It is also the premise of The Iron Writer. The Iron Writer Challenge was started one year ago by short fiction author Brian Rogers. Since it’s inception, it has grown incredibly. The site now boasts irons from seven countries and includes not only the original challenge but a non-competitive Weekend Quickie, a relay, and a site where seasoned authors give writing tips and advice. They have a networking page wherein the members share publishing opportunities, freelance work, and more. They also have a NaNoWriMo group that boasted several winners and who join together each year to “kill” the sites founder as part of their novel. The judging has evolved from a public vote to said vote combined with a rigorous judging system in order to combine literary merit with marketing skills to determine which writer has the most “metal in their mettle.” In celebration of the occasion, several Irons have elected to participate in a Birthday Blog Hop. The challenge? To write a commemorative 500 word piece of flash fiction including the following elements: iron, a quill, a birthday cake, and the favorite element from each Iron’s first challenge."

And now, a word from me :-)

To all Iron Writers, I say this to you..."Fellow knights of the Iron Writer's table, while others have appeared like mere flatulence in the wind, it is you who have steered our course true. This story is for you."


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Waiting for the Equinox

(iron, quill, birthday cake, 1 element from 1st challenge (err...I changed this to using 1 element from all 52 named challenges, written within the story in order, except for Challenge 51 element 'no 'be' verbs' which is used throughout - well, a birthday only happens once a year, so do something special)


"Meteors outside." Tom lay his ruby red slippers over the failed superhero in the elevator and sat down on his favourite coconut opposite the family's 1880 vampire hunting kit.
"Wonderful, dear." His space monkey, Suzie, did her usual chore of cutting quills with her ginsu knives for the pregnant camel next door. They shared a smile and watched the gyroscope in the corner.
"What's on the water buffalo tonight, dear?"
"Same old, same old. Black lipstick, I think," replied Suzie, now jumping on her trampoline. The dead gypsy rested on his theremin, silent.
"Anything special for dinner?" Tom hung on the clothes line and took a bag of almonds from his own personal group of reference librarians he kept in a casket. Satisfied that the flashing neon lights on the ceiling had stopped due to the malfunctioning pole mounted electric transformer, he waved his semaphore flags and watched his pet trilobite crawl across the floor.
"Just the usual, dear. Birthday cake." Suzie paused in her jumping and tore the hand held lawn clippers from her thigh, replacing them with chopsticks. Tom banged on his 1951 Kaiser Drag'n and yodelled like Slim Whitman.
"Again? Why can't we have something else for a change! Like fried green tomatoes or banana slippers! Why do we always eat birthday cake?"
Suzie whipped her husband with a feather boa, knowing he'd love it.
"Did you have a bad day? Another fight with the live Griffin, dear? Would you like a cup of tea?"
"Oh, yes. Thank you, darling."
Suzie disappeared into their abandoned outhouse to make tea and look for the jar of bacon fat Tom so often admired. A particularly interesting dressed herring appeared on the buffalo's hind and caught Tom's attention.
"Suzie, quick! You've gotta see this!"
She came running in wearing a pair of fishnet stockings and a wooden hanger stuck on the back of her neck. They both lost interest as the Bionic Woman sailed by in a Roman merchant sailing vessel. Suzie sighed, ate the 2000 year old map of the Earth she'd saved for later and went back to making tea.
"Anything happen today, dear?" asked Tom, now fixing his motherboard with the aid of a voodoo witch doctor.
"No, dear." By the time Tom had finished saying 'supercalifragilisticexpialidocious', Suzie'd brought in his cup of tea and sewed it with needle and thread to the bug zapper on the side of Tom's coconut.
"Oh, I almost forgot, my latest victim." Braving the haboob trapped within his James Bond Mini Spy Kit he'd taken to work, Tom lifted out an iron ingot, shiny and wet. "Look what I found inside a toilet roll hat."
"Oh, what a muppet! And so cute!" She stroked its back and tickled its tummy.
"Some Harpy tried to drown it in the river. Good job I had my lucky Kiwi bird on me."
"Can we...keep it?" Suzie flashed her nostrils at Tom, knowing his weakness.
"Well...okay."
Suzie laughed and punched him out.
"Thank you, darling!"

****

Visit Mamie Willoughby Pound at  www.happyeverywhere.com tomorrow for Day 4 to read their take on the elements, and don’t forget to visit www.theironwriter.com to read some amazing flash fiction or, if you think you have what it takes, sign up for a challenge :-)

3 comments:

  1. Dani's use of language is out of this world. The mind boggles at the imagery created.

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  2. That is freaking fantastic! You are the Master of the challenge. I really don't know how the hell you just did that.

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  3. And you managed to fit it all in 500 words, keep it hilarious and somehow, at a bizarre level, make sense. #Respect, Dani

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