Enjoy :-)
Creep
(The 4 elements - cave etchings, wooden club, fur, best/worst pick up line ever)
"What's a
good looking girl like you doing in a place like this?"
"Jesus,
hell! What the...?" Sheila quickly pulled up her skirt and tights and ran
out of the toilet cubicle, holding onto the sink for dear life. "What the
hell are you doing in here? This is the women's!"
The man's head,
which had popped out of the toilet seat so suddenly, slowly sunk back down,
only to reappear as if by magic from the water tank a few moments later.
"Can you
keep a secret? I'm a spy on a dangerous mission. I need your help."
"Mission or
not, you definitely need some help! If you don't get out of here right now, I'm
gonna call for the management!"
The man looked
sad as he vanished once again, with his hand pulling on the flush chain. Sheila
wondered whether she'd had too much to drink in the bar. This couldn't be
happening. Her urge to go had disappeared as quickly as the man.
When she got back
to her stool and saw that her glass was empty, that same head came into view,
sliding across her sight.
"What
the...! You again?"
"Hello.
Sorry, but do I know you? You look very familiar."
"What do you
want, creep?"
"Fancy a
drink, darling?"
"Why the
hell do you think I'm sitting in this bar?" The head slid back from whence
it came. She looked around to check whether it was only her, and everything was
as before, people chatting, some dancing, groups of friends having a good time.
It was only her. She needed another drink and tried to get the attention of the
barman who was nowhere to be seen. The man, this time cleaning a glass and
dressed as a waiter, popped up from behind the bar, smiling.
"Hello. Would
you like to come up to my place and see my cave etchings?"
"What?
How...? Do you work here?"
"My! Is that
a wooden club in my pocket or am I pleased to see you?"
"Yuck!
Jesus, guy! Lay off me, will ya!"
He leaned even
closer and wiggled his eyebrows.
"If I said
you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?"
"Who the
hell do you think you are? Manager! Manager! I demand to speak to the
manager!"
The man submerged
below the bar, still cleaning the glass.
"Where the
hell is the manager?"
A man in a fancy
black suit and tie walked up to her through the crowd, suave, extraordinaire.
The light hit his face...it was the same man.
"What is
going on here?" shouted Sheila.
"You know,
I'd climb the highest mountain for you, swim the widest ocean, wrestle the
strongest bear. I'd rip the fur off its back and make you a coat to be proud
of."
Sheila didn't
know whether to cry or scream. Tears began to form in the corners of her eyes,
her mouth trembled as the words escaped her lips.
"Does that come with jello?"
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