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Monday, January 26, 2015

'How to build a Castle in 7 easy steps' on Kindle!

'How to Build a Castle in Seven Easy Steps' is on Kindle!
Come and read the sample at least!

http://www.amazon.com/Build-Castle-Seven-Easy-Steps-ebook/dp/B00SOZYR6G

The review is there, too...and I'm trying to sort out an interview...later :-)




Working on the next book, a dectective/murder story. I've got the main gist of it, just need to write it out...




Sunday, January 25, 2015

5* Review of 'How to Build a Castle in 7 Easy Steps!' :-)

Got my first review of 'How to', from my ol' buddy Jasper T Scott, author of the 'Dark Space' series.
Looking for more :-)
http://www.amazon.com/Build-Castle-Seven-Easy-Steps/dp/1940938430

Here is the review!

5 stars!
Format: Paperback
Hilarious! With his usual dry humor, Dani J. knows just how to draw a laugh from his readers. This book is no exception! I'm reminded of a number of older movies and television shows whenever I read Dani's work. The Carry On series of movies comes to mind, as well as the sitcom, Fawlty Towers. Then there's the American classic, Robin Hood Men in Tights. If you enjoy a light-hearted tale with satirical and dry humor, then you'll find this book irresistible!


...and here is a reader with the book itself! :-)


Friday, January 23, 2015

How to build a castle MAP

You can't see it yet because only the paperback is out at the moment... but there is a small Tolkien style map inside before the story. Gary did a fine job :-)

So, here it is... nice, huh?

Thursday, January 22, 2015

My take of TIW C99..."Sucks"

Unfortunately, even with winning the Popular Vote, I only came 2nd in the TIW Winter Solstice Open Final. The 4 judges were very unkind to myself and another story, which I thought they would pick.
There was one piece of feedback...

4. Not So Neighborly : All elements present. I could see the try for humor, but, for me, the whole story was difficult to follow. To be truthful, I’m still not sure that I actually “got it.” Errors in grammar and syntax were distracting.

My feedback on this judge's feedback?
There were no errors in grammar and syntax in my story. I'm an English teacher, proofreader and philologist. What do you think, huh? This judge also mentioned another story had errors, which it didn't, BUT seemed to completely ignore the many errors in another. This judge is incompetent. And that shows because they didn't "get it". What is there to "get"? On a superficial level, it is a couple talking about the noisy neighbour. On a deeper level it is a comment on the "Je Suis Charlie" massacre, the neighbours being religions. Didn't get it, huh? No surprise.

TIW...it's been 2 years. I think "Dani's Shorts 4" will be the last. I am in Challenges 100 and 105. I will finish with it then.
But before that happens, here's my take on Challenge 99!

SUCKS

(cartoon image of writer drinking coffee, smoking and trying to write, a howdah, Told from a POV of an alien who views humans both as food and pets, floor buffer)


Stravskee said there were good pickings on this planet and he was right. He did warn me, however, that I’d have to watch out, as these beasts weren’t all as dumb as they looked, with their smooth hairless bodies and four protruding limbs. Some took them home as pets, finding their grotesque form ’cute’. How they thought that, I had no idea, they were disgusting, their habits and smells so alien to me. I was here for food. The light jump between the last few quadrants had made me peckish. It was time to taste this so-called 'food from the heavens'.
"Ben! Is there anymore coffee? I really need a refill."
One of them was bent over a wooden structure, with smoke escaping from a long tube in its mouth, perhaps some breathing device. Its body sat on a metal stool and with one of its free limbs, bled a blue liquid onto a pressed fibrous material, creating scribbles on its surface. My first meal.
"No, Lexi! I’m going down the pub! I’ve started the ’monster’ up!"
"What? No, honey, you can’t do that! How can I concentrate on writing my novel now?"
"Close the door! Anyway, you’re the one who chose it! I wanted a Henry but you had to go and buy this souped-up floor buffer!"
"It’s an XV-12!"
"It’s a menace, that’s what it is! It sucked up one of my slippers the other week!"
These creatures were noisy, with their many mating calls and gestures. I would pounce on this first portion of meat as soon as they quietened down.
"It’s just very efficient."
"You said it would ’free us to explore other roads’. Well, I’m off to explore Tooley Street."
"No, wait!"
"Why?"
"Can you bring me a refill?"
"What are you? Some Maharaja on a howdah? Get off your arse and get your own coffee!"
"Please!”
The closest creature held up some ceramic object. This was clearly a symbolic ritual of release from the mate as the other poured a liquid into the reciprical and left the area with a loud bang of wood. Another sound began further away but this did not bother the sitting beast, who began to bleed more blue liquid onto the fibrous material. It was time to make my move. I crept closer to the wooden structure, hidden by my cloaking device and looked up at my next meal. The file mentioned that there were many ways to down this creature, though from here it was difficult to make a sudden attack. It needed to be standing. I threw a sound grenade between the wood at the end of the confined area and heard the explosion.
"What the hell?"
The beast stood up and separated the wood. Now was my chance! I readied my stance and allowed my claws to extend to their full length. My mouth began to drool with the impending taste of blood. A large and loud machine entered my view, its pull was too strong...








Tuesday, January 20, 2015

TIW C98 my own take - POISON

Still a few days until the TIW Winter Solstice Open Final finishes. I have NO IDEA how the judges voted on this one, I can only hope I win the popular vote and get at least 2 points ahead.
To 'fill your gills'...

Here's my Weekend Quickie 81 (83)...

Not lovers Quarrel


(Love, Ice cream, Murder, Heterophobia. 150 words)

Dawn dropped her ice cream and ran, not knowing what else she could do. The screams of passers-by alerted two policeman who happened to be standing at the corner of the plaza.
"He's dead!" howled an old woman, holding one hand to her mouth. "She murdered him!" Her other hand pointed in the direction of Dawn, now jumping down the steps in her Dr. Martens to the metro station below.
She had no idea...why did she react that way? Why did he have to tell her that she loved him? She was gay and he knew it! Enraged, she broke free of his 'loving' embrace and stabbed him in the chest with her overly sharp metal wristbands, the official badge of her 'wolfpack' of lesbian friends and lovers. It was no accident he was dead but she'd never planned to do it, either.
"Stop, madam! Police!"
She kept running.

And Challenge 98 will happen next...here's my own 'take', I love it...

POISON


(Botticelli game, long hair, Tiger lily, Steampunk goggles)

"Did you paint a picture of Venus rising?" asked Valerie, smiling from ear to ear. A few tokes and she was high. Once you got used to the stench of his mother’s cat, Beef’s kitchen was warm and inviting.
"You always start with the archetypal question, don’t you?" Beef sat there at the table, his long hair hiding his actions.
"Wrong answer. You’re meant to say…"
"I know what I’m meant to say. No, I am not Sandro Botticelli." He was tinkering with something but Valerie couldn’t see what.
"Are you…? This is boring, you need more people to play this game. Besides, I prefer Vermicelli."
"Food, you’re always hungry, too. Do you know how predicatable you are?"
"I’ll give you predictable!" Valerie smacked him one across the top of his head.
"Predicatable."
"I am not!" She ignored him until she was sucking roach. "What are you doing?" she asked as she destroyed the cardboard filter in the ashtray. Beef stopped what he was doing and lifted his head to reveal aomng other things, a wonderful bunch of spotty orange flowers. "Ooo, they’re nice. Are they for me?"
"No, they are not." He busied himself with chopping up some of the flowers on a board.
"What are you doing? You’re destroying those!"
"They’re dead already." He continued to chop more.
"What are they? Aren’t they some kind of lilly?"
"Tiger lily."
Beef’s mother came in and Beef híd something under his arm and covered the flowers with his hair.
"Have you fed Alonzo, yet?" She was referring to the cat.
"No, mum. I’ve got a tin here."
"Okay, well, I have to pop out to the shops. Hold the fort." And she walked out of the back door with handbag over shoulder. Beef sat up again and Valerie noticed the cat food under his arm. Their eyes met.
"Tiger lily. Did you know…"
Beef liked to lecture. Valerie searched the table for tobacco papers.
"…has many medicinal uses?"
"I did not know that." She licked the papers, put them together and took out a cigarette.
"It helps in supressing aggressive tendencies…"
"Rather like weed, then, eh?" Breaking the filter off, she ripped open the fag and arranged the tobacco.
"…and has proved to help in the nausea and vomiting of pregnancy."
"I’ll have to remember that one," she winked, taking out her weed and sprinkling some along the pile.
"When baked, the bulbs taste rather like potatoes."
"Cool. When we run out of chips, we’ll all go down to the florists." She wrapped up the paper, licking it closed and twisting one end shut. Only the roach needed.
"But…" Beef pushed the tin of catfood forward and opened it by pulling up the key. From nowhere, the cat Alonzo jumped up on the table. "It has toxic effects on cats." He scraped the flower pieces into the tin and mixed it up. "That’s the last time he poops in my Steampunk goggles."
Valeries watched open-mouthed as the cat tucked in.


Did you like them? Tell me...




Monday, January 19, 2015

How to Build a Castle...how deep can you get?

Initial sales of the 'How to Build' paperbacks was cool. It almost got into the Top 50,000 books for the day (ranked 50,539) and as an author I got into the Top 10,000 for Book>Literature&Fiction>Genre!
The real sales will happen when my fantastic publisher goes 'on the road' and visits a ton of conventions. Hopefully, the right person will pick a copy up and BAMM!
So what's it all about? You can take it as a piece of entertainment or you can go a little further. The cover is fantastic, some might buy it just for that!
Okay, so, deep...let's go down...POVs (points of view)...
There are 4 POVs, all people (or animals) trying to survive. You have...
Tilotes the cat, suffering from his own hunger,
Norby, reacting from the actions pushed upon him,
Alice, surviving by living under the wing of someone desiring power and wealth and
Chief Haykes, surviving by leading.

Only one of them dies. Guess which one?
Here it is in paperback :-) (cheaper today, I don't know why)
http://www.amazon.com/Build-Castle-Seven-Easy-Steps/dp/1940938430


Saturday, January 17, 2015

Friday, January 16, 2015

TIW 2014 Winter Solstice Open! Voting time!

And it's time!
This week is the TIW 2014 Winter Solstice Open Championship...and I'm in it!
"Not so Neighborly"...a dialogue-driven punchline ending short story...hiding a story about "Je Suis Charlie"
Please, come and read and VOTE for me, Dani J Caile!
Please go here to vote!

http://theironwriter.com/2014-winter-solstice-open-championship/

Here is the story :-)

Not So Neighborly

Dani J. Caile

“What’s the matter, dear?” asked Doris, entering the lounge.

“The matter? Can’t you hear it?” Bob pointed out to the backyard.

“Oh, the neighbor.”

“Yes, the neighbor!”

“Well, he has the right to mow his lawn…”

“At 2am in the morning?”

Doris grabbed her duster and busied herself with the mantelpiece.

“You were a bit loud with that music the other night, dear. Not everyone is an Elvis fan.”

“A bit loud?”

“He even left a note on your car…”

“Don’t talk to me about that note!” Bob paced up and down on his tiger skin rug.

“…though I think ‘country’ is spelled with an ‘ou’…”

“But he started it! He cut my hedge!”

“You put nails on his drive, dear.”

“And he set fire to my postbox!”

“You can’t prove that.”

The sound of the Flymo resonated throughout the house.

“I’ve had enough of this, where’s Elvis?”

“Please, dear, no.”

Bob took out his three-disc deluxe edition box set of ‘Elvis: The ’68 Comeback Special’ and loaded a DVD, turning up the volume on the television as it came to life. He sat there in utter disbelief.

“What the…!”

On the screen wasn’t the fantastic hip-swaying undisputed King of Rock ’n’ Roll, bashing out ‘Trouble/Guitar Man’, but coverage of an old US golf Open focusing on a strangely dressed man.

“What the heck is this?”

Doris paused in her dusting and looked over at the screen.

“Looks like Payne Stewart, dear. I always loved his argyle socks.”

“But…how…?” He took out the DVD and looked at it. “This is a sticker! Someone messed with my DVDs! Did you…?”

“No, dear, I wouldn’t dream of touching…oh.”

“What?”

“The neighbor.”

“What!”

“Remember when he did that drilling last Sunday?”

“How can I forget! He went on until midnight!”

“Well, he came over the other day to check if he’d done any damage. I thought that was nice of him…”

“You let him in?”

“Sorry.”

“This means war!”

With the sound of the neighbor’s Flymo outside still breaking the beautiful silence of the night, Bob ran over to his gun rack and grabbed his loaded pump action Winchester.

“I’m gonna blow that damn thing to kingdom come!”

“You’re not going all Islamic on me now, are you, dear? You must admit, he gets 10 out of 10 for ingenuity, copying labels like that.”

“Ingenuity? Ingenuity!” Bob grit his teeth and paused in sudden reflection. “What happened?” he demanded. “Everything was fine until I went to that Las Vegas Elvis Fest. Then all hell broke loose! Did you do anything while…?”

“No dear, just a small Tupperware party with the girls from the bridge club.”

“And then what…?” The Flymo hit a tough bit of grass and screamed in the darkness. Bob flew out of the French windows, screaming blue murder.

“Come to think of it,” mused Doris through the sound of shotgun blasts, “perhaps hiring those male strippers and the All Boy Carribean Steel Drum band was a bit over the top…”

Not So NeighborlyDani-J-Caile

Dani J. Caile
“What’s the matter, dear?” asked Doris, entering the lounge.
“The matter? Can’t you hear it?” Bob pointed out to the backyard.
“Oh, the neighbor.”
“Yes, the neighbor!”
“Well, he has the right to mow his lawn…”
“At 2am in the morning?”
Doris grabbed her duster and busied herself with the mantelpiece.
“You were a bit loud with that music the other night, dear. Not everyone is an Elvis fan.”
“A bit loud?”
“He even left a note on your car…”
“Don’t talk to me about that note!” Bob paced up and down on his tiger skin rug.
“…though I think ‘country’ is spelled with an ‘ou’…”
“But he started it! He cut my hedge!”
“You put nails on his drive, dear.”
“And he set fire to my postbox!”
“You can’t prove that.”
The sound of the Flymo resonated throughout the house.
“I’ve had enough of this, where’s Elvis?”
“Please, dear, no.”
Bob took out his three-disc deluxe edition box set of ‘Elvis: The ’68 Comeback Special’ and loaded a DVD, turning up the volume on the television as it came to life. He sat there in utter disbelief.
“What the…!”
On the screen wasn’t the fantastic hip-swaying undisputed King of Rock ’n’ Roll, bashing out ‘Trouble/Guitar Man’, but coverage of an old US golf Open focusing on a strangely dressed man.
“What the heck is this?”
Doris paused in her dusting and looked over at the screen.
“Looks like Payne Stewart, dear. I always loved his argyle socks.”
“But…how…?” He took out the DVD and looked at it. “This is a sticker! Someone messed with my DVDs! Did you…?”
“No, dear, I wouldn’t dream of touching…oh.”
“What?”
“The neighbor.”
“What!”
“Remember when he did that drilling last Sunday?”
“How can I forget! He went on until midnight!”
“Well, he came over the other day to check if he’d done any damage. I thought that was nice of him…”
“You let him in?”
“Sorry.”
“This means war!”
With the sound of the neighbor’s Flymo outside still breaking the beautiful silence of the night, Bob ran over to his gun rack and grabbed his loaded pump action Winchester.
“I’m gonna blow that damn thing to kingdom come!”
“You’re not going all Islamic on me now, are you, dear? You must admit, he gets 10 out of 10 for ingenuity, copying labels like that.”
“Ingenuity? Ingenuity!” Bob grit his teeth and paused in sudden reflection. “What happened?” he demanded. “Everything was fine until I went to that Las Vegas Elvis Fest. Then all hell broke loose! Did you do anything while…?”
“No dear, just a small Tupperware party with the girls from the bridge club.”
“And then what…?” The Flymo hit a tough bit of grass and screamed in the darkness. Bob flew out of the French windows, screaming blue murder.
“Come to think of it,” mused Doris through the sound of shotgun blasts, “perhaps hiring those male strippers and the All Boy Carribean Steel Drum band was a bit over the top…”
- See more at: http://theironwriter.com/2014-winter-solstice-open-championship/#sthash.lsBwdftB.dpuf

Not So NeighborlyDani-J-Caile

Dani J. Caile
“What’s the matter, dear?” asked Doris, entering the lounge.
“The matter? Can’t you hear it?” Bob pointed out to the backyard.
“Oh, the neighbor.”
“Yes, the neighbor!”
“Well, he has the right to mow his lawn…”
“At 2am in the morning?”
Doris grabbed her duster and busied herself with the mantelpiece.
“You were a bit loud with that music the other night, dear. Not everyone is an Elvis fan.”
“A bit loud?”
“He even left a note on your car…”
“Don’t talk to me about that note!” Bob paced up and down on his tiger skin rug.
“…though I think ‘country’ is spelled with an ‘ou’…”
“But he started it! He cut my hedge!”
“You put nails on his drive, dear.”
“And he set fire to my postbox!”
“You can’t prove that.”
The sound of the Flymo resonated throughout the house.
“I’ve had enough of this, where’s Elvis?”
“Please, dear, no.”
Bob took out his three-disc deluxe edition box set of ‘Elvis: The ’68 Comeback Special’ and loaded a DVD, turning up the volume on the television as it came to life. He sat there in utter disbelief.
“What the…!”
On the screen wasn’t the fantastic hip-swaying undisputed King of Rock ’n’ Roll, bashing out ‘Trouble/Guitar Man’, but coverage of an old US golf Open focusing on a strangely dressed man.
“What the heck is this?”
Doris paused in her dusting and looked over at the screen.
“Looks like Payne Stewart, dear. I always loved his argyle socks.”
“But…how…?” He took out the DVD and looked at it. “This is a sticker! Someone messed with my DVDs! Did you…?”
“No, dear, I wouldn’t dream of touching…oh.”
“What?”
“The neighbor.”
“What!”
“Remember when he did that drilling last Sunday?”
“How can I forget! He went on until midnight!”
“Well, he came over the other day to check if he’d done any damage. I thought that was nice of him…”
“You let him in?”
“Sorry.”
“This means war!”
With the sound of the neighbor’s Flymo outside still breaking the beautiful silence of the night, Bob ran over to his gun rack and grabbed his loaded pump action Winchester.
“I’m gonna blow that damn thing to kingdom come!”
“You’re not going all Islamic on me now, are you, dear? You must admit, he gets 10 out of 10 for ingenuity, copying labels like that.”
“Ingenuity? Ingenuity!” Bob grit his teeth and paused in sudden reflection. “What happened?” he demanded. “Everything was fine until I went to that Las Vegas Elvis Fest. Then all hell broke loose! Did you do anything while…?”
“No dear, just a small Tupperware party with the girls from the bridge club.”
“And then what…?” The Flymo hit a tough bit of grass and screamed in the darkness. Bob flew out of the French windows, screaming blue murder.
“Come to think of it,” mused Doris through the sound of shotgun blasts, “perhaps hiring those male strippers and the All Boy Carribean Steel Drum band was a bit over the top…”
- See more at: http://theironwriter.com/2014-winter-solstice-open-championship/#sthash.lsBwdftB.dpuf

Not So NeighborlyDani-J-Caile

Dani J. Caile
“What’s the matter, dear?” asked Doris, entering the lounge.
“The matter? Can’t you hear it?” Bob pointed out to the backyard.
“Oh, the neighbor.”
“Yes, the neighbor!”
“Well, he has the right to mow his lawn…”
“At 2am in the morning?”
Doris grabbed her duster and busied herself with the mantelpiece.
“You were a bit loud with that music the other night, dear. Not everyone is an Elvis fan.”
“A bit loud?”
“He even left a note on your car…”
“Don’t talk to me about that note!” Bob paced up and down on his tiger skin rug.
“…though I think ‘country’ is spelled with an ‘ou’…”
“But he started it! He cut my hedge!”
“You put nails on his drive, dear.”
“And he set fire to my postbox!”
“You can’t prove that.”
The sound of the Flymo resonated throughout the house.
“I’ve had enough of this, where’s Elvis?”
“Please, dear, no.”
Bob took out his three-disc deluxe edition box set of ‘Elvis: The ’68 Comeback Special’ and loaded a DVD, turning up the volume on the television as it came to life. He sat there in utter disbelief.
“What the…!”
On the screen wasn’t the fantastic hip-swaying undisputed King of Rock ’n’ Roll, bashing out ‘Trouble/Guitar Man’, but coverage of an old US golf Open focusing on a strangely dressed man.
“What the heck is this?”
Doris paused in her dusting and looked over at the screen.
“Looks like Payne Stewart, dear. I always loved his argyle socks.”
“But…how…?” He took out the DVD and looked at it. “This is a sticker! Someone messed with my DVDs! Did you…?”
“No, dear, I wouldn’t dream of touching…oh.”
“What?”
“The neighbor.”
“What!”
“Remember when he did that drilling last Sunday?”
“How can I forget! He went on until midnight!”
“Well, he came over the other day to check if he’d done any damage. I thought that was nice of him…”
“You let him in?”
“Sorry.”
“This means war!”
With the sound of the neighbor’s Flymo outside still breaking the beautiful silence of the night, Bob ran over to his gun rack and grabbed his loaded pump action Winchester.
“I’m gonna blow that damn thing to kingdom come!”
“You’re not going all Islamic on me now, are you, dear? You must admit, he gets 10 out of 10 for ingenuity, copying labels like that.”
“Ingenuity? Ingenuity!” Bob grit his teeth and paused in sudden reflection. “What happened?” he demanded. “Everything was fine until I went to that Las Vegas Elvis Fest. Then all hell broke loose! Did you do anything while…?”
“No dear, just a small Tupperware party with the girls from the bridge club.”
“And then what…?” The Flymo hit a tough bit of grass and screamed in the darkness. Bob flew out of the French windows, screaming blue murder.
“Come to think of it,” mused Doris through the sound of shotgun blasts, “perhaps hiring those male strippers and the All Boy Carribean Steel Drum band was a bit over the top…”
- See more at: http://theironwriter.com/2014-winter-solstice-open-championship/#sthash.lsBwdftB.dpuf

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Nutcase? ...nutcase...

I clicked on a video of Bono talking about 'Jesus'...I think the interview is from his book 'Bono', anyway...he kinda sums up the stupidity of humanity, really. He is the epitomy of it. Listen to this...

"...either Christ was who He said He was the Messiah or a complete nutcase. I mean, we’re talking nutcase on the level of Charles Manson. ...(blah, blah)... The idea that the entire course of civilization for over half of the globe could have its fate changed and turned upside-down by a nutcase, for me, that’s farfetched."

Is it? Is it really? People have ONLY ever followed nutcases...just look at history.


Back to writing...
If you missed them, here are my latest TIW WQs...

WQ79 (81)

(A Marvel Superhero, A Sandstorm, Oreo Cookies, The feeling of being a Stud. 150 words)

A blast of sand covered Pepper Potts as she sunbathed on the beach with the creme de la creme of society.
“Tony!”
Ironman had landed. Actually, he’d sunk a few centimetres into the soft sand.
“Nice place. Catching some rays?”
Pepper peeked at him over the top of her sunglasses. Tony looked around, admiring the eye candy.
“Ooo, all those luscious eyes on me, makes me feel like some kind of stud. I like that.”
He’d always been a pig. Pepper put her book down and glared into the eyes of his helmet.
“Wow, with that look you could contend with Torch.”
“Well, ‘stud’, did you get me those Oreo cookies I asked for?”
“Oh, erm, sorry, I forgot. Between battling with Doctor Doom and outfoxing Hypnotia, I completely forgot about them.”
“So?”
“I’ll go get some now.” He flew off towards the shops, creating a sandstorm on the beach.


WQ - 80 (82)

(The Song “I like them Big and Chunky”, a Donkey, one of the Iron Writers, a Cat. 150 Words)

“I like them big, I like the chunky,” sang Puss, sliding over to Donkey.
“You been taking that catnip again, Puss?” Donkey did his best to move away but there wasn’t much space left on the sofa as Tony Jaeger had already taken up most of it after passing out on his latest batch of mushrooms. His snoring reverberated through Donkey’s ears.
“I like them big, I like them plumpy,” continued Puss.
“I don’t like the sound of them dumplings!” Donkey escaped from the clutch of his comrade’s Nepeta cataria-induced state and
cantered out of the room. He turned and watched from behind the door.
“Ah-ha, I see another sexy, succulent beast who has as yet to enjoy my feverous lust and infatuation,” purred Puss, moving over to the sleeping Tony.
“More like flatuation! Leave the man, alone, Puss! He ain’t done nothin’ to you!” screamed Donkey.



Oh, the 'Figment' King Dork competition ended...I didn't win. I read the first 3 winners (of 10)...why did they win? Terrible prose, terrible stories. Again, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Figment does not have a philologist on their staff, and if they did, they must be drunk.

Friday, January 9, 2015

Great new review on Amazon.com.au!

Here is a great review on Amazon Australia (amazon.com.au) from Maureen Larter, a fellow TIW writer. Okay, so it's not 5 stars but 4 stars is the NEW 5 stars :-) Thanks, Maureen :-)

----------------------------------------


4.0 out of 5 stars If you are easily offended, this book isn't for you - but ..., 8 January 2015
By  Maureen -
Verified Purchase  
This review is from: The Bethlehem Fiasco (Kindle Edition)
A VERY quirky take on a well known story! If you are easily offended, this book isn't for you - but I laughed and enjoyed the sinful interpretation with incompetent hobgoblins and lazy angels that make mistakes being all part of the mix.
 
----------------------------------------
 
I have a few reviews here on Amazon Australia...they're fantastic! At least some people know I try...(yes, I'm very trying)
 
NOTE: Got through to the TIW Winter Solstice Open Final (long title), along with 4 others...next week, votes please :-)
 

Short story contest :-)


Hollyjahangiri (http://jahangiri.us/2013/short-story-contest/) has a nice little contest, to make an original short story from whatever is in your Spam or Trash folders.
I chose my Spam and seeing as no limit was mentioned, I thought a 150 word Flash Fiction story. 
Here goes...I hope she likes it :-)

Notice!

"Jamie! You have an urgent court notice!" Devlyn ran into the Ping River Brigade clubhouse and tripped over a large parcel from FedEx. He picked himself up and shook the paper at his colleague.
"Now? But what about the storewide sales that end on Sunday? And those B&B getaways I SO needed to choose from?" screamed Jamie, jumping down from his Higher Education and dropping his copy of the Hunts Post.
"You're just gonna have to go down to Ariana's place and buy from her best gift ideas when you receive Batch A in your e-mails. You're not married, pregnant and 13 anymore, you know?"
"Damn," murmered Jamie, ripping the court notice from Devlyn's hands and reading the small print. "Do you think they'll let me out to apply at UCAS to secure a place?"
"Oh, I'm sure they will, Jamie. I mean, it's either 'sell or die'," he smiled.


Thursday, January 8, 2015

Into the Final!

Thank you for all your support, I made it into the TIW Winter Solstice Flash fiction Final (again).
The judges didn't like my great 'Guardians of the Galaxy' ripoff short story, but I got enough votes PLUS winning the Popular vote to tie with Chris Garrison to be the first '5th' member of a Final.

My new book "How to build a castle in seven easy steps" is out soon, very soon (perhaps this week).
If you'd like a copy or a signed copy (OMG) then please comment below and I'll see what I can do. The cover is FANTASTIC!

Now I'm off to write my entry for the Final :-)

Sunday, January 4, 2015

Competitions! Need votes!


Sorry for the gap between posts, I've been a little ill lately, what with being insane and breaking my writing arm.
This week I'm in the TIW Winter Solstice Prelims...with a pre-'Guardians of the Galaxy' short story, you should go over and read it, vote for it, too, that would help :-)

http://theironwriter.com/the-donna-tartt-bracket/



If I get through, I'll be in the TIW Winter Solstice Final...again :-)

Also doing the TIW Novel Competition, 3 months, write a 35,000+ word novel. At the end of January there's a 'cut off' with Chapter 1s, only a few continue on to finish...I'll finish it no matter what.

I also have a 250 word story here in another competition, though you may have to scroll down to find it...

http://writerunboxed.com/2015/01/03/following-the-breadcrumbs-wu-flash-fiction-competition-round-1/