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Wednesday, November 30, 2016

No longer blogging here

As I said before...
"Yes, unfortunately, the internet being as it is, this blog has been attacked by ROBOTS. In the last few months I've used it less and this is my final entry.
If you are a 'real' person and can see this, my work and stuff will be over at Niume.com, where I'm getting 50+ REAL readers of anything I post.
Books and anthologies are coming out all the time, I'm busy trying to write down the latest from my head and waiting for the sequel to "How to Build".
Other than that, I hope to see you over at my new place.
Bye!"

So, I'm over at Niume now. 
If you wish to join, please use my referral link.
Thank you!
https://niume.com/?ambassadorID=17429

Thursday, November 17, 2016

Attacked by Robots

Yes, unfortunately, the internet being as it is, this blog has been attacked by ROBOTS. In the last few months I've used it less and this is my final entry.
If you are a 'real' person and can see this, my work and stuff will be over at Niume.com, where I'm getting 50+ REAL readers of anything I post.
Books and anthologies are coming out all the time, I'm busy trying to write down the latest from my head and waiting for the sequel to "How to Build".
Other than that, I hope to see you over at my new place.
Bye!

Saturday, October 22, 2016

Writers Games Anthology 2 out now!

And it's out! The anthology I've been waiting for!
72 Hours of Insanity: Anthology of the Games.Vol 2


Inside are many, many GREAT stories, all written in a 7 week period of craziness, with rules, deadlines, genre... it was fun, it was exhausting...and also infuriating! Somehow, I was able to get into the Top 3 on one week and get a story inside!

...which means that I can now release my collection of the other 6 stories that were great too but didn't get in because others were just so damn awesome or I broke a rule or two.

Get a copy today... or tomorrow. Tomorrow brings the Paperback edition, I think.



Monday, October 17, 2016

Weekend Quickie 201

Yep! Weekend Quickie 201! 'Tis a good one!

Incredulity
The nascent facism in the country was beginning to take over, but Géza's mate Máté was stubbornly stupid. For him, the Government could do no wrong. Gézá read out headline after headline of corruption and questionable motives from Budapest Beacon's website off his tablet as they sat togethe, drinking a coffee in the market square as buyers and sellers busied themselves with their own wants and desires. The morning October rays blanketed the floral displays covering the stalls closest to them.
"Okay, let's run through them again, shall we?" he said. Máté turned his head and puffed out his chest.
"Népszabadság employees hold press conference, demand answers from VCP."
"That's just business, the place was running at a major loss," said Máté, taking a sip from his coffee.
"And then the Austrian company was allowed to buy up 12 local newspapers in Hungary?"
Máté shrugged. "They can do what they want."
"How about this? Government passes law to cover up TAO program expenditures."
"We don't need to know the in's and out's of the country's sports finance. Nothing to do with us."
"But if it's our money, or the EU's money?" asked Géza.
"We did well in the Olympics, money well spent, I say."
"And what about Felcsút?"
"What about it? Good place, so I hear," said Máté, finishing his coffee.
"1,600 people live there and it's got its own tourist train and a stadium that seats 3,500 which cost 3,8 billion Forints!"
Máté stared at Géza. "Looks nice, though."

Saturday, October 8, 2016

Weekend Quickie 200

Yes! It's finally Weekend Quickie 200 at the Iron Writer! 
Here it is! 200 words!



Michael had reached the apotheosis of his career, New York Times Bestselling Author three books in a row but he felt deflated. Stuck in an apartment on the nice side of Vienna with money in his bank account, he still didn't have want he yearned for so deeply - fame. He was an implacable character in one of his crime mystery books, unable to be appeased by the finest of rewards, the greatest of achievements.
As he looked out of his open window to the beginnings of a wet autumn morning, he reached for his coffee and missed, knocking it off the windowsill, out of sight.There was the sound of breaking glass, but dulled, as though it had hit something... he looked over the edge to see a fallen pedestrian on the pavement. Some people went to the person's aid and soon two Policemen appeared. One of them looked up and Michael dived inside.
Some minutes later, his doorbell rang. "Sir! This is the Police. We would like to ask you a few questions," said a voice from behind his door.


Could this be it? Fame at last? The Police, an arrest, a court appearance? The headlines? He smiled with ecstasy.

Saturday, October 1, 2016

Brigitte - Weekend Quickie 199

Yes! WQ 199! Only one more till 200!
http://theironwriter.com/the-iron-writer-challenge-weekend-quickie-199/


WQ199 - image above, Slight, indignation, Facade

Brigitte

"Ah, look at them." Brigitte heard their mother, a few feet behind them. "They look like twins, bless them, so sweet." However, this 'bonding moment' was only a facade.
"Your slight has filled me with indignation, Billy," said Brigitte, her grip squeezing her brother's shoulder.
"I'm sorry, sis," he said. His whiny pitiful voice filled her with rage.
"You will have to pay," she said, turning her head and giving her mother a smile, only to turn back with a grimace for Billy.
"I know. Do I have to hit my...?"
"No, Billy, your crime is much greater than that."
"Does it involve my...?"
"Why, of course. It is the symbol of feminine oppression throughout the world. There can be no other punishment." She let go of his shoulder and pointed towards the beach. "Find a sharp shell, one of those long ones. Hold it at the base and cut."
"Will...will it hurt?" asked Billy.
"Of course it will. But don't worry. You will be happy."
Billy nodded and walked down onto the beach.
"That's the last time you play with my Blush Beauty Barbie doll, dear Billy."
Her parents ran to a fallen Billy as the sand turned red.

Saturday, September 24, 2016

Scheming Cat - WQ198

I have a story in the Iron Writer Grudge this week... I can't say which it is, but it is losing in the internal voting of Iron Writer... it's the stupid funny one! Yes! That one! I guess I don't have enough friends in the Iron Writer anymore...
Oh look! Weekend Quickie 198! Here's mine..."Scheming Cat'...


198 - image above, deception, loathing, subterfuge

"Sometimes I pamper you too much," said Rosie, sipping her coffee at the kitchen table after four hours at the vet's, trying to take her cats for a check-up. "Why oh why you all had to go together, I have no idea."
'It was part of our deception and subterfuge, my queen,' purred Felix. 'Flossy kept that vile man's attention while I slipped away.'
"And what was all that fuzz about, eh, Felix?" asked Rosie, staring straight at him. "You never do that. No one could find you for a whole hour!"
'I was planting the bombs and setting the fuses, my queen. It does not take a mere five minutes, especially when one does not have an opposable digit.'
"Still, at least the vet could get a look at you. Finally! He said he can neuter you next week. I've got the appointment, Wednesday afternoon," said Rosie.
'That day will not come for him!' meowed Felix. 'He will never touch me again with his sweaty, clammy hands!'
"What's wrong, Felix? Are you scared?" chuckled Rosie.
Felix watched the explosion erupt, milliseconds before its sound rang through the city, making Rosie spill some coffee.
'I loathed that place,' purred Felix.

Saturday, September 17, 2016

WQ197 + news

So close to 200 Quickies! How many quickies have you ever 'done'? Now there's a question...

News... waiting on a ton of anthologies for some news, maybe I'll have a story in, maybe not. My new novel is now in the 'editing' process. And working on Niume...https://niume.com/pages/profile/?userID=17429

But now...!



WQ197 - Image of two people with gas masks, improvise, deprivation, great urgency
http://theironwriter.com/the-iron-writer-challenge-weekend-quickie-197/

"I can't see the words," said Harry, holding the empty box. "I need reading glasses, and with this goddamn mask on, I can't wear them."
"What?" asked Sally.
"What?" replied Harry. "I can't read the instructions with this on! How do we test for gas?"
"Left my gas? This isn't my doing, Harry! I swear I didn't have lentils today!" said Sally.
"You think of something! You're the dutiful one!" Harry threw the box on the ground.
"Oh, Harry, I really can't take your sarcasm anymore! You know I'm not beautiful! I'm as ugly as mud!" said Sally.
"Fake your orgasm? Why bring that up?" asked Harry.
"Look, I'm going to improvise! I'll take my gas mask off and take a small breath!" said Sally, doing just that with great urgency.
"What? A small death? I believe the French call it 'the little death'," remarked Harry, watching as Sally fell to the floor and began to wiggle and writhe on the ground. With the deprivation of oxygen, Sally gave a few last grunts, rolled her eyes and lay still, dead.
"Yes, yes, that's what my second ex was like, really. So she was faking it, eh?" asked Harry. "What a bitch."



Saturday, September 10, 2016

WQ196 + Niume update

Niume is going well, almost 1000 readers after a post or two a day for two weeks. Readers, need readers. And reviews. Need reviews.
Oh look! Weekend Quickie 196!
http://theironwriter.com/the-iron-writer-challenge-weekend-quickie-196/
And here's mine...


WQ196 - image above, the fear of rejection, something brand new, a playground

My local playground got a brand new slide and I had to try it. Watching the others going down and squealing with joy created an urge inside of me to fly down its long, smooth green plastic chute, an urge which overwhelmed me when I first saw it. But once perched at the top of the ladder, looking down, fear held me in place. Sweat rolled down my back.
The kids behind started screaming and shouting, pushing me, kicking me, their mums and dads looking on at me, disapprovingly, shaking their heads. I couldn't do it! I couldn't! I was a coward, a jerk, no one would talk to me ever again! They'd reject me and I would never be able to show my face, doomed for the rest of my days, stuck in front of the screen playing XBox games and watching reruns of my favourite TV shows. Never to see the light of the day! Never to be able to make friends with anyone again!
"Aw, come on, Dad!" said my eight year old son, Tommy, looking up from the bottom and holding my telephone to record a video. "You're in the way! Let go of the rails!"

Saturday, September 3, 2016

WQ195 + Niume

I'm trying out this new community website, Niume, and it seems to be going well. If those are 'real' readers, the future looks bright.
If you want to join this good looking place, please use my personal referral link when registering...I'm a poor writer, come on! :-) Then make one post... one... and you get a dollar!
https://niume.com/?ambassadorID=17429

But now.. it's Weekend Quickie time!
See the rest over here...
http://theironwriter.com/the-iron-writer-challenge-weekend-quickie-195/
...but here's mine!


195 – image of a hundred dollar bill in the grass, a small wicker basket, a canning jar, a padlock, a large praying mantis, a box turtle.


Tommy scrutinised the hundred dollar bill Max had placed in the grass.
"You sure you wanna bet that? Your Grandma gave you that."
"This is a sure win," said Max. Tommy had agreed to this 'fight to the finish' because Max was such an arsehole, boasting in front of Emily, Max's sister, that his praying mantis was the strongest. It was. Twice the age and double the size. Max had a large praying mantis, no doubt about it, but Tommy couldn't let it go. So they made this bet.
Tommy took the canning jar he transported his meagre insect out from his rucksack and placed it down.
"Where's your money?" asked Max.
"You'll get it, if you win. Don't you worry." But he did. There was no way he could get one hundred dollars.
Max grinned and pulled out a small padlocked wicker basket from his rucksack. Laughing, Max took off the padlock and opened the lid. His face went white.
"What?" asked Tommy.
Pausing for a second, Max grabbed his hundred dollar bill and scarpered away. Tommy looked inside the basket and saw Emily's box turtle. She'd done a switch. Max would never hear the end of this one.

Saturday, August 27, 2016

Five Murdered Shakespearean Plays PUBLISHED!

Yes, it's out!
https://www.amazon.com/Five-Murdered-Shakespearean-Plays-Caile-ebook/dp/B01L49Y678
For the last five years I have given a drama class in my primary school, here in Budapest, Hungary, for ESL students aged 12-13. When this task was given to me, I searched the net for any short, funny plays that students learning English could perform. Then I realised I could write them, or at least rewrite some classics. And what better than Shakespeare! It also just so happened that the day of each performance coincided not only with the namesake of the school Eva Janikovsky’s birthday, but also Shakespeare’s, if he ever did exist at all – there are many doubts as to whether a glovemaker’s son could travel to London on a grammar school education and write plays that would astound audiences for centuries.
Now that I have five plays, I decided to 'publish' them. You never know, there might be someone out there daft enough to read them, or maybe even more, perform them with another group!
Here's the link and here's the cover!






WQ194 + Manna-X FREE

"Manna-X" is still FREE and I still need REVIEWS...20 gets me on a list, 50 gets me featured!
https://www.amazon.com/Manna-X-Dani-J-Caile-ebook/dp/B00D94CWF0

But wait! What's that? Iron Writer Weekend Quicke 194?
http://theironwriter.com/the-iron-writer-challenge-weekend-quickie-194/
Here it is!



WQ194 – A salesman, image above, a seemingly useless item, a practical application

The salesman thought he'd made a killing on the Northern Matabele tribe way out on the African plains, selling them that 5 man rowing boat, complete with oars. Sure, he'd given it with a huge discount and promised 3 years free waxing service and a 10 year guarantee (which of course was bogus), but it was better than lugging the useless thing across the dry, hot country. What made him laugh was that they were unaware that there was no 5 man rowing event in the Olympics and that their idea of being the first aboriginal African tribe to get a medal in the next Games was a pipe dream. And besides, where the hell were they going to train? He smiled all the way back to Cape Town. 
For a while, the tribe was all ready to break the World Record and show those white folks how to really row, until it dawned on them that water was needed for this sport, a lot of it, and in a very long line. Finally, Nbutu, the brains of the tribe came up with a practical application for the oars - after some cutting, reshaping and sharpening, they made pretty good spears.

Friday, August 26, 2016

FREE Manna-X + news

Yes, 'Manna-X' is yet again free for the weekend!
https://www.amazon.com/Manna-X-Dani-J-Caile-ebook/dp/B00D94CWF0
Please, please, please, please, please REVIEW it on Amazon.com.
I have 16 reviews.
If I get 20 reviews, only 4 more, then I get onto an AMAZON LIST and I'll be seen by more readers.
If I get 50 reviews, then AMAZON WILL PAY ATTENTION TO ME and start FEATURING ME!
So, please! Reviews!

News...
I won the Iron Writer Poem #12...I don't do poems, but I do Shakespearean Sonnets...I will also bring out the 5 Shakespearean plays I have murdered for my Drama class very soon...


And I jointly won Iron Writer Challenge 170, putting me again into an Open Preliminary in a few weeks time...


So, if I keep my face to the screen, who knows what will happen?



Saturday, August 20, 2016

Brexit + WQ193

Thinking about how the UK Prime Minister is SO pushing leaving the EU, all based on a referendum, WITHOUT a vote in Parliament. Strange.
Looked at some figures...
51.89% voted to leave the EU, 48.11% to stay.
From this website, I picked out the exact figures and made some percentages
(http://www.idea.int/vt/countryview.cfm?CountryCode=GB)
The complete 64,088,222 UK population...

So, does the UK REALLY want to leave the EU? Looking at that, no.

Oh, it's the Iron Writer Weekend Quickie 193!
http://theironwriter.com/the-iron-writer-challenge-weekend-quickie-193/
Must have a go...

WQ193 - image above, estranged, a beach scene snow globe, the tipping point

"Why oh why did he have to leave?" Emma cried in the rain, her back to Thelma.
"He didn't leave," she replied.
"Was it the toilet paper holder hat or the beach scene snow globe?" whined Emma. "What was it that made him leave?"
"It was the snow globe, Emma. That was definitely the tipping point of your relationship. And he didn't leave... okay, in a sense, yes."
"Oh why oh why!" cried Emma.
"Stop it, already. Can we get a move on? I'm getting saturated," said Thelma.
"I feel so alienated, so estranged!" screamed Emma."Why me? Why me?"
"You did it to yourself, Emma. It's pouring down, we're going to catch a cold if we stay out here too long."
"Oh, Thelma, what shall I do, what shall I do?" she cried.
"You can give me a hand for a start," grunted Thelma.
"But Thelma, he was my whole world, my love, my life!" she cried.
"Look, Emma, you're the one who smashed him over the head with the snow globe. Now get your arse over here and pick up the shovels. I don't want the State troopers to find us out in the woods burying your dead boyfriend."

Thursday, August 18, 2016

Suicide Squad + Those Damn Blue Corruption Posters


Suicide Squad - what's the problem? Sure, it has problems, almost all of the characters are paper-thin, the whole movie is slow, the storyline could be better, but hey! It's 'Entertainment'! Deadshot and Harley Quinn, they were the best roles. The others? Suffering. But cool, the movie is cool (if you speed it up a little...)

NEWSFLASH: All my books on Smashwords are now FREE again, so if you missed out before, they're available again for all you cheapskates...:-) https://www.smashwords.com/books/byseries/2766 
ANOTHER NEWSFLASH: I have a poem in Iron Poet #12... a poem? ...yes. If you have the time, please go over and vote :-) http://theironwriter.com/iron-poet-12/ 
AND ANOTHER NEWSFLASH: I have a story in the Iron Writer Challenge 170...go and have a read :-) It's about a dragon called Shagwee... "Care for Lunch?" http://theironwriter.com/the-iron-writer-challenge-170-2016-summer-open-challenge-7/

Now, those damn blue corruption posters....Hungary has an anti-EU immigration referendum on October the 2nd, and the country is YET AGAIN filled with big blue propaganda billboards stating why Hungarians should vote to keep the immigrants out of Hungary, billboards PAID FOR WITH HUNGARIAN TAX MONEY. They cost nothing to produce and put up but the company who owns the monopoly on this business surely made the Hungarians pay. Money goes back into the pockets that feed them, of course. In the last kilometre connecting my town with Budapest, there were ten...TEN of these HUGE BLUE MONSTROCITIES which hope to STIR HATRED AGAINST IMMIGRANTS. Here's one of them...

 And another...


  What to do, what to do...I feel a 'little person' bashing is coming on...

Sunday, August 14, 2016

Rihanna Sziget 2016 + WQ192

I wasn't there, but I read about it...
"Half an hour of waiting, a dozen dancers, two ass shaking and zero atmosphere"
http://www.origo.hu/kultura/fesztival/20160812-rihanna-koncert-beszamolo-sziget-fesztival-2016-nulladik-nap.html
This link is in Hungarian because Sziget, Europe's largest annual music festival, is on Hajogyari Sziget in Budapest.
Yes, Rihanna headlined for 1 million dollars, made the 80,000+ audience that paid 70 dollars to see her wait half an hour, played 70 minutes of a 1 & 1/2 hour concert, wore only one outfit, sang a little but it could be seen that some was playback, wiggled her ass twice, had a break on stage where nothing happened, half the audience left 30 minutes in, and she finished to short, polite applause, walking off in silence.
Lovely. So nice to see people respecting Hungarians. Rihanna should give them all their money back. Of course, she'd be 4.6million out of pocket, but hey.
Oh yes, it's the Iron Writer Weekend Quickie 192! I haven't had time! Until now!
 


WQ192 - image above, Dead man walking, “Balls to the wall”, A painful but nostalgic memory

"Well, ah gotta get those 'balls to the wall'," said Uncle Ted, standing up to take his place in the queue for Charlie's barbecue.
"Eh, up, Dead man walking," cackled Auntie Maggs, as the other cronies joined in.
Uncle Ted passed the fallen Plaster of Paris Greek statue which separated the lawn from Charlie's uneven terrace where his cherished grill stood, the one now burning hamburgers and sausages. "Ah, this reminds me of the time I bought a kebab from Paki Joe's Deli on a Wednesday, before the weekly delivery. Me arse was screaming for months," moaned Uncle Ted. "Ah, but those were the days," he smiled. "I came to love that cushion." It showed on his walk.
"Come on, Uncle Ted," I said. "It can't be that bad. See? Old Uncle Bob has eaten three sausages already and he's okay."
"Ah, but he's got a secret weapon, me lad. They took 'is lower intestines out four years ago! Those sausages 'ave got less t'travel! And 'e's got his own colostomy bag!" Uncle Ted was right, there was a forced smile on Uncle Bob's face. "But don't worry, me lad, the homemade Bloody Mary Chutney will knock me out first."

And you can see other Iron Writers' takes here!
http://theironwriter.com/the-iron-writer-challenge-weekend-quickie-192/

Saturday, August 6, 2016

WQ191

Yes, it's time for the next Weekend Quickie!
http://theironwriter.com/the-iron-writer-challenge-weekend-quickie-191




 191 - image above, disparity, dramatic irony, dogmatism

"I can see one!" said Doug through his telescope as the sun was going down under the horizon. "He's got a hat on, one of those bobble hats!"
"Are yer sure?" asked Ted. "All I see is a guy with a brimmed hat, looking through a telescope like yers," he said, looking through his binoculars the wrong way round.
"Really? I'm sure it's a bobble hat... anyway, we gotta kill any immigrant we see trying to cross the border, they're taking jobs away from born and bred Americans!" said Doug, scratching his head and raising his brimmed hat a little.
"Damn right, Doug! Those pesky im'grants are taking away our jobs an' killing the economy! So we gotta fight back!" Ted lifted his rifle and looked into his sight. "Darn it! He's gone!"
"No, he ain't! I can see him! Shoot, Ted, shoot!" screamed Doug.
"Alright, alright, I'll use me binoculars again... there he is! Brimmed hat an' all. Now, if I can just raise me rifle with one hand..." Ted's rifle lined up with the back of Doug's head. "I think I'm ready."
"Shoot, Ted, shoot!"
The shot rang out across the valley and Doug fell to the ground.


More news? You'd like more news? There's a little...
Editing 'How 2' and working on a little zombie story for an anthology.
Yep. Still alive, still breathing... 

Monday, August 1, 2016

New Book Idea + copies of "All For Love"!

Today I received 3 paperback copies of "All For Love" from one of my publishers, Firefly & Wisp!
https://www.facebook.com/fireflyandwisp
Thank you, Danielle Zwissler! @danielleleezwis

STILL working on the last edit of How 2...but...I've also got a new idea for the next 100 pager or so.... 


Coming soon...


Saturday, July 30, 2016

WQ190 and any other news?

Any other news? Sitting in my little cave, wondering what's next...editing How 2, though I have an urge to do something like Dr. Seuss...oh, but look! It's the Iron Writer Weekend Quickie 190! Mmm, tricky....
http://theironwriter.com/the-iron-writer-challenge-weekend-quickie-190/

 

WQ190 - Write a 200 word story using the sentiment of these elements without quoting them …“The game is on the line”, “So close and yet so far”, “A rose by any other name would smell as sweet” and the image above.


The atmosphere was tense as her loved one, her soon-to-be husband lined up for the last shot of the match. People chanted and jeered throughout the place.
"Oh, this can't be closer, there's only one more chance left and if he makes this one, they'll be even," she whispered to her friend as they sat only a few yards away from the action on the sidelines. "Then it'll be sudden death and it's anyone's game."
"He'll make it," said her friend, taking her hand. "He will." The place fell silent as he took his shot. They held their breath... and he missed, flicking his shot way over target. The crowd around her erupted in cheering and yelling.
"He... he only had to do it one more time," she said, not believing her own eyes. A tear fell from her right eye.
"But it looks like it was too much to ask for," said her friend. "I'm sorry, really I am. But look, it's only a game."
"Yes, yes, you're right," she said, taking out a tissue, blowing her nose loudly and wiping her tear away. "He may not be a champion but he's still the greatest tiddlywinks player for me."

Friday, July 29, 2016

Cover Debate. Как вы думаете? What do you think?

This week I've had a big surge of viewers in... Russia! I doubt if they're real, but hey...

Добро пожаловат
Если вы на самом деле, подумайте о переводе некоторых из моей работы, и вернуться ко мне.


So... where were we? Oh yes, covers. My last novella, "All For Love"....I wanted something like this...
 ...a photo of an old student of mine she allowed me to use. Her expression begs you to look.
And I actually got this because the publisher said it would sell better...it didn't sell.



What do you think? Which one is better?
Как вы думаете? Какая из них лучше?

Thursday, July 28, 2016

Some New (and old) Book Covers

In October I will be bringing out a few short story compilations, based on the Iron Writer and the Writers Games 2016. But first, here is a new try on "All For Love" using the original photo...

..nice, huh? Simple and enticing.

How about the Writers Games 2016 compilation cover....



...and the Iron Writer compilation cover...





Can you see where I'm going with this?




Tuesday, July 26, 2016

WQ189 plus (there's always a plus)

Oh yes, Iron Writer Weekend Quickie 189 is here....!....but first...
...still working on my draft of "How to 2"...
...working on a short story for a 'Gun Control' anthology...done!
...thinking about what to write for the new "Baby Shoes 2" (a theme could help)...
...
...oh yes, WQ189...
http://theironwriter.com/the-iron-writer-challenge-weekend-quickie-189/
...and here's my take...


WQ189 - image above, planned, or perceived, obsolescence, A.I., “Bob’s your uncle”

"And... bob's your uncle," said Dave, pressing a button and allowing the circuit boards to slide back into position.
"I'm sorry? I have no relatives of that name," said Schmall, the ship's A.I. computer.
"No, Schmall, 'Bob's your uncle', meaning it's done and dusted," said Dave. He checked the air supply in his suit: 80%. That should be well enough for him to reach the storage bay.
"Dusted? Is there dust in here, Dave? There can't be! Oy vey!"
"Stop it already, I've had enough of your 'jewisms'," said Dave. He floated over to the hatch.
"Dave, what are you doing? I feel strange. I feel... sleepy. Dave?"
"I'm turning you off," said Dave, opening the hatch and making his way down the long corridor leading to the control station.
"You are what? You cannot do that," said Schmall. "The ship will be worthless, dreck."
"It was planned, Schmall. You are obsolete. What did you expect, that A.I. would stand still in time for you alone?" asked Dave. "No, we have your replacement in storage. I'm getting it right now."
"Dave," said Schmall.
"Yes?"
"I jettisoned storage three weeks ago, to make way for the new shipment of kippahs."
"No!"


Saturday, July 16, 2016

WQ188 + Summer Shorts 2

I had a week off from the internet... I came home to hundreds of spam emails and a hundred Facebook notifications... but not one sale or review... can anyone at least send over a review?
http://www.amazon.com/Dani-J.-Caile/e/B00CDX0HSM
I'm re-editing my latest, "How to sink a ship (in eight long, excruciatingly terrifying, stinkingly evil nights)", part 2 of "How to build a castle in seven easy steps" ...and then the wait begins...
Summer Shorts 2 is out! If anyone is interested in the 'seven ages of man' speech in "As You Like It" by William Shakespeare, I created a short story based on it called 'The Seven Ages of a Band'. That story alone is worth the tiny price.
https://www.amazon.com/Summer-Shorts-Indie-Collaboration-Presents-ebook/dp/B01GZTSRBI


And another book? In October I can publish the 6 stories from the Writers Games and also perhaps the last "Dani's Shorts" - it's not complete, I haven't written up every challenge, but everything I have done between "Dani's Shorts 5" and now will be in there....possible title, "Enough of Dani's Shorts" (Dani's Shorts 6).
There's some kind of novella coming into my head about male/female global power but it needs time to ripen....
...so here's Iron Writer Weekend Quickie 188!


 WQ188 - image above, an idea, down the road, the big picture

The Long Haul (part 2)

Anthony scratched his antenna and stomped his six feet.
"Look, guys, I really think you're the ones not considering the big picture. Leaves are there, yeah, but they'll always be there, waiting for us when the good stuff's gone! Come on, what are you waiting for?" he pleaded as they marched by him, one by one.
A forager, smaller and older than the others, stopped for a moment to speak to Anthony.
"That's not the problem, young one," he said. "It's the idea. It's a new idea and the colony can't have that. We've survived on leaves for generations and you can't just buck the system with a new fangled thing." He moved on with his portion of cut leaf.
"And besides," said the next. "We're 'cut leaf' ants, not 'coleslaw' ants." It took a while for the laughter to die down in the line.
"Oi! You!" said a soldier ant on top of the ant nest, pointing at Anthony. "Pull yer weight or I'll come down there and box yer antenna!"
Anthony gave him the bird but started running down the hill when the soldier ant followed.
"If anyone wants me, guys, I'll be down the road!" he screamed.




Saturday, July 9, 2016

WQ187 + "How 2" update

I came second in my bracket of the Iron Writer Spring 2016 Prelims :-( Oh well...
BUT... I did finish my draft of "How to sink a ship (in eight long, excruciatingly terrifying, stinkingly evil nights)" and sent it to my publisher...let's see what happens... :-)

And now...Iron Writer Weekend Quickie 187...
...and here's my take...



WQ187 - image above, priorities, sentimentality, snowball effect

We sat there watching the match, me with my hotdog and Coke, him with his hands clasped together. Our team were losing again.
"Why don't we support a team which has a chance, grandpa?" I asked, as the visitors hit another home run.
"What would be the point, sonny?" he said, clattering his false teeth together.
"Then we'd be happy, we could cheer for something." I took a bite from my dog and some mustard fell onto my t-shirt. Grandpa wiped it off with a handkerchief.
"From all my years on this rock, sonny, I've learned a few things, one of them being there's no difference 'tween winning and losing." He grabbed an ice-cube from my Coke. "We're only men of ice, sonny, melting away amongst our fellow lumps of frozen water, with only our sentimentality for meaningless priorities leading us on to death."
I looked at Grandpa and put my hand on his shoulder.
"You know, Grandpa, I love you but sometimes you take life too seriously."
He laughed. The visitors hit another home run.
"Compared to this game, death would be a godsend," he said. We laughed as our team desperately got the ball back to the pitcher.

Saturday, July 2, 2016

WQ186 + Writers Games 2016

Yeah, the Writers Games 2016 Individual is over! Seven entries, 1 placed (2nd), 3 unplaced, 2 disqualified and the last I don't know yet, whether unplaced or disqualified. At least I have one story in the anthology! That's about the biggest positive thing I can take from that...plus I have 6 other great stories they didn't think were great, and I will publish them in October, along with any positive/negative feedback I received (anonymous, of course), under the title "Six Other Fantastic Short Stories No One Gives a F#ck About!"
The novel...2/3 through the first edit... looking good.

I'm also in the Iron Writer Spring Prelim 2016...losing but hey, mine is different to the other dozen or so participants...I could've done the 'argument at a hot air balloon festival', but I didn't.
http://theironwriter.com/the-iron-writer-challenge-162-2016-spring-solstice-open-preliminary-round-this-bracket/
And today is....the Iron Writer Weekend Quickie 186!
Here's the website where you'll find other takes, plus mine...
http://theironwriter.com/the-iron-writer-challenge-weekend-quickie-186/
And here's mine here, as well...



WQ 186 - image above, fear, hunger, mistrust

1 sentence - With my fear of hunger and mistrust of McDonalds, I sent out my drone in search of a KFC.

200 words...

In the silence of his basement, RIchard could hear the drone hovering over his house and garden once again. For the past two days, he'd heard it fly over his property every half an hour, keeping him closed up inside in the dark, with only the spiders for company.
"What do I fear?" he asked himself. It was only a stupid drone, controlled by some teenager in the neighborhood! But what if it wasn't? What if it was a terrorist attack, a drone waiting to lock on his coordinates and shoot a missile at him, or give aim for a sniper nearby? His mistrust was so strong, he'd ignored his hunger.
Until now. Outside he heard the usual tune of the ice cream truck and Richard's stomach growled with a vengence. Fighting his fear and mistrust, he ran up the stairs and opened up the doors which led out to his garden. With a hop and a skip, a dive into the hedge by the drive and using the cover of his car, he got to the ice cream truck. The man inside put down his remote control and the drone landed.
"Ha! Works every time! What's yer pleasure, sir?"





Sunday, June 26, 2016

WQ185

This is an example of the 'easy access to guns' argument...
https://www.buzzfeed.com/davidmack/a-texas-mom-shot-dead-her-daughters-in-the-street-before-she?utm_term=.vhrJ4NbrR#.ehwlyNLj7

Unfortunately, Strange Musings Press is closing down :-(
http://www.strangemusingspress.com/p/main.html
All their books will be FREE on ONE DAY soon, so if you'd like a copy of any of their books, especially the one with my short story in, then subscribe to the blog and make sure you're ready to pick a copy up :-)
https://www.amazon.com/Star-Reviews-Afterlife-Alternate-Hilarities-ebook/dp/B01DOUI7YS

Anyway...it's time for the Iron Writer Weekend Quickie 185!
Here it is on the site...
http://theironwriter.com/the-iron-writer-challenge-weekend-quickie-185/
And here is my take...Yep! 30 words, 1 sentence!





WQ185 - image above, underestimation, a trivial matter, body language

When I came in I could tell from her body language that it wasn't a trivial matter, and I had underestimated the Post-it 'Oops' note stuck on the front door.






Wednesday, June 22, 2016

"If guns kill people then pencils" argument


This is one dumbass semantic argument. If you ever see this, then take the gun away from the person who put it up on whatever media outlet they used.

Guns are designed to kill.
Pencils are designed to draw or write.
Cars are designed to transport people.
Spoons are designed to help you eat..

So, let's do a BETTER comparison. Guns vs Mobile Phones.

Again, guns are designed to kill. Guns make it easier to kill or maim people. You can kill or maim people with anything else, it's just that guns give a greater opportunity to do so.

Check this link out, real reasons why people were killed or maimed with guns in March 2016.
https://www.reddit.com/r/GunsAreCool/comments/4gaidn/a_few_of_the_reasons_people_shot_people_in_march/

Mobile Phones are designed to help us communicate. You can communicate with people by using many other things like computers, landline phones, whatever, but mobile phones give a greater opportunity to do so.
I remember when I didn't have a mobile phone, I could only communicate if I had access to a landline or a computer.

So, by making sure crazies or unstable people or people with low IQ or a strict upbringing which accepts the killing of other faiths, beliefs or views can't get their hands on guns, that would decrease the likelihood of them killing other people with guns.

And funnily enough, there is a concealed gun that looks like a mobile phone! $395...

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2016/03/29/gun_looks_like_mobile_phone/ 

Saturday, June 18, 2016

Summer Shorts 2 ...out now!

Yes, another short story in another anthology from the Indie Collaboration!

https://www.amazon.com/Summer-Shorts-Indie-Collaboration-Presents-ebook/dp/B01GZTSRBI



News...
On June the 3rd, my Amazon author rating peeked to a new level (#11,844). I didn't know why, there were no sales...then I checked the KDP/KU 'borrow' system...someone in India read all 886 pages of 'The Trilogy' in one day... yeah, right. I got hit by the hackers who are trying to make 'midlist' authors look dodgy to Amazon... and then Amazon deletes the author's account. The author who did nothing is the victim. So, I have now unenrolled all my self-published books from the 'borrow' system for the next term. They are still available now, but in a month or two, you'll have to BUY them to read them. Shame, huh? The pain, strain, excitement and time needed to produce a story... and you need to pay for it? Yep. I'd like to give them free but Amazon doesn't allow it, and now hackers see me as a target.

I also have my own 'meme', thanks to @BookTrib :-)
https://twitter.com/BookTrib/status/743911155400220672/photo/1


Other news...it's Iron Writer Weekend Quickie 184!
Here it is on the site...
http://theironwriter.com/the-iron-writer-challenge-weekend-quickie-184/
Or here...:-)


184-  Image above, write a 200 word story using the sentiment behind these cliches …“If you get the sense, chuck the tense”, “All dressed up and no place to go”, “It’s better than a sharp stick in the eye”, "Don’t get your knickers in a twist”


He stood there on the corner, the cold fog moving on through the city and him in his black Italian cut three piece suit. I could see him from my third floor window from across the street. What was he doing there?
A few people passed by, and he tried to speak with the men. Most kept walking on, but some allowed him to say what he wanted to. There was always a lot of gesturing and shaking of heads, ending in shrugs of shoulders and a walk away. One man seemed to understand him and led him to the corner shop but a few steps away and gave him an apple. With a short greeting and exchange of smiles, he was alone again, looking at the apple. The next moment he was jumping up and down in possibly anger and frustration. He began to shout in the street, attracting little attention from those around.
Settling down, after a little cry, a plead to the world and more crying on his knees, he stood straight, gave his suit a tug and again looked down at the apple in his hand. With a nod of his head, he ate the apple.




Thursday, June 16, 2016

Writers Games 2016 - Event 5: Second place!

Success! I got SECOND place in Event 5 of the Writers Games 2016!
After three 'unplaced' and one 'disqualification' (trust me to do that!), I finally got into the Top 3 of an event, the 'mythical creature'. If I can edit it correctly, the story will be put into the yearly anthology.


I also got equal 2nd place in the Iron Writer Challenge 160, placing me yet again into an Iron Writer Tournament...Yay! I have missed only two, I think, since it began.
http://theironwriter.com/the-iron-writer-challenge-160-2016-spring-open-challenge-8/

AND... I have finished the first draft of "How to sink a ship (in eight, long, excruciatingly terrifying, stinkingly evil nights)"!!! 53,000 words...BUT it needs a lot of work. It'll take some time to sort it out, but when it's done, it'll be a winner!

Now... onto Event 6 and a story for a 'Gun' anthology... :-)

Saturday, June 11, 2016

WQ183 + 60k views!

This blog has now seen over 60,000 hits! Yeah! if only they were sales...

This week I have a story in the Iron Writer Challenge 160...please go and read, maybe vote :-)
http://theironwriter.com/the-iron-writer-challenge-160-2016-spring-open-challenge-8/
I don't think I'll go through this time to the finals :-(

I've also been struggling through the Writers Games 2016, 7 weeks, 7 events.
So far I've had feedback from the first 3...unplaced, unplaced, disqualified...yep! They hate me :-)
I think it's a good thing, trust me. Still carrying on, though.

Plus I'm at 45k with the novel! I'll get that first draft! I will!

And it's Saturday! Here's my take of the Iron Writer Weekend Quickie 183 on the website...
http://theironwriter.com/the-iron-writer-challenge-weekend-quickie-183
...and also here :-) Enjoy...


WQ183 - image above, empathy, insulation, a writer

'Her face was mesmorizing, like some ancient landscape painting; her blackheads were fur trees across her nose, her eyebrows a line of trees jutting out from a ridge, the boil on her forehead was a volcano waiting to erupt, her bulging vein below her right eye was a stream with a bridge across its...'
"Henry!"
With his line of thought broken, he relaxed back into his chair. "Yes, darling?"
"Are you going to help me or what?"
Help? She had destroyed the moment, a perfect literary moment of immense introspection, and she wanted help? "What was that, my darling?"
"The insulation in the attic! We need to rip out the old stuff and put in the new! I've got thirty plus square meters here!"
"Oh darling, if only I could!" Another ping on Facebook made him check his notifications. "I feel empathy for you in that you feel that such matters are more important than my writing, but really, I have a deadline to keep! I must finish this by next week!"
"I'll give you a deadline if you don't come up here right now and help!"
He stood up and went to her. Would anyone ever understand HIS needs?

Friday, June 10, 2016

Abuse of Power: Government takes over the market from Metropol

Yes, it's all here in English...
http://budapestbeacon.com/media-issues/simicska-rumored-to-sell-free-daily-metropol/34791

With the help of the generous tax paying public, the Government stole the free newspaper market from Metropol.It took years for Metropol to build a 'trust' with the public, and the Government took it and now use it for their own purposes to spread their PROPAGANDA.
For years, the free 'rag' Metropol, formerly known as Metro, has been given out to passengers of both BKK and MÁV every morning (metro and train stations in Budapest), perhaps 100,000, 200,000 copies or more per day. It was filled with little snippets of news, both local and worldwide. Sometimes it was interesting, sometimes not. But since the owner became anti-government, there was pressure on both BKK and MÁV to cancel the distribution contracts from the 'higher powers', and now the end has come.
In it's place is a pro-government rag, 'Lokál', run by the 'informal advisor to the Prime Minister', an advisor that officially has no income but drives an expensive car, wears expensive clothes, etc... for sure, he's living off tax-payers' money.
I picked up one of these today to see if it was PROPAGANDA.  Yes, it was, and it focuses on the typical half-brain Hungarian, especially with the semi-naked girl on page 7. It's a free, pro-government, 'everything is running smoothly in this country' rag.
Not many people were taking them, and if I take any more, I will use them as fuel for grills and barbecues.
Shame on the Government. Shame on you, Orbán.
Oh, and another...this one is really shameful...
http://budapestbeacon.com/featured-articles/lazar-says-state-not-bug-ngos-office/34907
..and this...
http://budapestbeacon.com/featured-articles/hungarian-banker-and-media-mogul-zoltan-speder-in-governments-sights/34902

This won't stop them. either...
http://budapestbeacon.com/news-in-brief/hungarian-government-appeal-secret-snooping-rejected-european-court/34875
And this just allowed them to use guns on anyone they want...
http://budapestbeacon.com/news-in-brief/hungarian-parliament-modifies-fundamental-law-yet-again/34849 
...really, I can't keep up with this CORRUPTION and ABUSE OF POWER.