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Monday, December 31, 2018

Happy New Year! "All For Love" on Smashwords FREE

Thank you to all who downloaded "Trilogy" in the last few days - downloads from the USA, the UK, Germany, Canada, and India!
I hope you will all give it a try, perhaps even give a review once you've digested them - a lot to read, three books in one.

In my studies, I've recently had to re-read the Greek classics and the Bible, including work by the literary critic Northrop Fyre...Why Frye? Why, indeed. Although I despise him, his work must be read and taken in, and he uses some possibly useful terminology.

Anyway...I've made a decision. Time to make "All For Love" FREE!
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/915380


Tuesday, December 25, 2018

"Trilogy" FREE for 4 days + "How to Sink a Ship" reader!

Just received a photo from a reader of "How to Sink a Ship!" with the promise of a review later!
Well, that makes my day...and hey, there's a plush foot in the picture too...hope it's not a squirrel!



Why don't you pop over to have a look at the book, or even go look at my freebies over at Smashwords!
Or even download the FREE copy of "Trilogy" which includes...
Man by a Tree
The Bethlehem Fiasco
The Rage of Atlantis



Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Thursday, December 6, 2018

First review in AGES! "How to Sink a Ship"

Yeah! A review for my new book!
It's so good to finally get some feedback for months/years of work! One day it'll be in Kindle, but I think it's still better to get a paperback. Anyway, here's the review from my pal Jasper Scott!

5.0 out of 5 stars (December 5, 2018)
Hilarity and Mayhem!

Pirates and Zombies collide in hilarious ways in this unlikely mash-up of genres. The result is pure laughter and distraction from the weightier matters in life. The style and tone is fairly reminiscent of Monty Python, and the writing is fantastic. Dani Caile has reached a pinnacle with this book. I wish someone would make a movie out of it so my wife and I could laugh ourselves to tears together!

And here's the link to my new book!


Jasper Scott is a fabulous sci-fi writer himself, much more famous and successful than me!
You should check out his books, they're all a great read, I thoroughly recommend them.


Monday, November 12, 2018

FREE "Man by a tree" for THREE

Yes, my first ever book from 2011 is FREE for three days.
I read the first chapter a week ago and thought I'd try an audiobook...when I get the time.
But before that happens, come and download it, read it, tell me what you think!
Click on the link...
"Man by a tree" FREE

..and here's another picture in the spirit of the book (as the cover ain't so great)...



Some readers have already downloaded it...thanks!

Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #13,968 Free in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Free in Kindle Store)

...so, come along, download and read. You could even review :-)

Sunday, November 11, 2018

FREE BOOK + A few new reviews...from the anthologies!

Due to the launch of my new book (see at the bottom of this post), I'm giving my FIRST BOOK FREE for THREE DAYS!
Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, November 12th to the 14th!
Just click on the title to get there...

MAN BY A TREE

The cover isn't so great, so I'll put this excellent picture up instead...



I've also been checking out reviews and a few have popped up recently from the anthologies I'm in.
Here's one from October and another from a few days ago...

CEA Greatest Anthology Written (the book trying for the Guinness World Record)




...and...

FLASH! (the 2nd anthology from Jason Brick)



Looks like we're all doing quite well!
Of course, my NEW book is out, you know... did you know? Have I already told you?

How to Sink a Ship... Can you see what Amazon did here?



















Thursday, November 8, 2018

A sale! "How to Build a Castle in Seven Easy Steps"...

Wow! I got a sale!
That doesn't happen much. I think I have the right to celebrate...*a little jig*
How to Build a Castle in Seven Easy Steps...this one...




...while my new one is over here, the 2nd installment of the same story...





Something's also happening over at Smashwords.com
In the last 30 days I've got three times more the usual amount of free downloads, yeah, okay, we're still talking like 'nothing' but there is 'movement'...in fact, it's the best it's ever been! *another jig*

Just so you know...


Monday, November 5, 2018

#Trump story - The President's Brain I hope it won't come true!

I had a few goes at two of the recent Iron Writer Challenges, I can show you them once the Challenges are over, but here's one I did from the first list of elements for the Challenge in 2018 (the first list was later withdrawn, I think, as none of the elements match those on the website.)
So, from a non-existent Iron Writer Challenge, here's a story...about Trump!

Challenge #4
Elements - setting = hostile territory / emotion = fear of mirrors / condition = defensive / object = a flower / image = a child's blue eye



The President’s Brain

He pushed open the stairway door and ran through a room panting, a room empty of people but full of screens showing his face. His heart was beating out from his chest, he was so unfit: perhaps golf really wasn’t a sport after all. A pause to catch his breath gave him the time to read the caption sitting in bold colors on the screens. “Gotcha!” He hid his eyes from the screens, mirrors of his worst fear!

The same door he’d come through burst open and a mass of cameramen and reporters spilled out, running in his direction. He was in hostile territory, trapped in a building owned by one of the thousands of fake news broadcasters! Oh why did he think he could stroll in and tell them to bow to his supreme power? “Because I’m the bestest!” he said out loud. Without a thought – nothing new there – he ran on, past the banks of screens sneering out to him, all mirrors of himself, and out through the next door, down a corridor and into the first door that would open. It was some kind of small conference room, an oval table with chairs around, but nothing more. Nowhere to hide. He tried under the table, then realised it was made of glass. He grabbed the strings to control the blinds but couldn’t figure out how to move them. He looked around. There was nowhere left to hide. A large pot with a six-foot sunflower stood over in the corner. He ran over and hid behind it, the flower’s head covering most of his.

Outside the noise was deafening as people stomped up and down, looking in rooms and finding nothing. The conference door opened and he started to sweat… but the door closed. After a few moments, the noise diminished as the mob moved away, searching elsewhere. What had just happened? Had he got away with it? Slowly, he looked out from behind the sunflower. An image of a child’s blue eye covered his vision making him jump out of the plant pot. His five-hundred dollar shoes were ruined! With a sour grimace, he looked up to see a young woman holding a tablet showing the face of a young child.

“Do you know this boy?” she asked.

“Look at my shoes! Someone will pay for this! Where’s my detail? Do you have a phone?”

The woman walked away and sat down at the table. She took out her phone. “Yeah, I have a phone. Who should I call? CNN?”

“No!” He waved his small hands and grabbed the back of the chair opposite her. “You know, I have many friends, the bestest of friends, they’re great. They can do anything, they can get you anything you want…”

“Not Russian by any chance?” the woman said with a smirk. She held up the tablet once again. “Now, back to my question. Do you know this boy?”

“You… you look a bit fat, maybe you should go to the gym or something, maybe get that hair done, that nose… you remind me a little of my daughter…” he smiled and raised his eyebrows in his ol’ seductive way.

“Sit down!” He sat down. This woman was strong, he liked her. Who could he get $130,000 from? “This boy is my son. ICE took him away from me.”

“Well, err, MS-13 brought him into the country illegally, what do you expect?”

“I WAS HOLDING HIM IN MY ARMS!”

“Oh, so you work for MS-13?” He sat up and crossed his fingers together. “We won’t let just anybody into this country, you need to cross the border legally, and anyone working for MS-13 will immediately be detained.”

The young woman sat back and put her feet on the table, crossing her legs and showing him the barrel of a gun.

“Ah, a terrorist!” He smiled and tried to remember where he’d last seen his security detail. Ground floor, before he’d decided to make a run for it after all his lies, counter-lies, corruption, cheats and cons came to a halt in the guise of a subpoena handed over by the man himself.

“No, just a mother of one wanting to get back her son.” She took out a pad of paper and pen and slid it over to him. “Write down where he is and I’ll let you live.”

“What? Guffaw! How in the hell am I meant to know where one scrawny little kid is? I’m the Pre…”

“You signed the order. It’s your responsibility.”

“What? Responsibil… come on! What are you talking about? You don’t actually think what I say means anything, do you? Who are you?”

“As I said, just a mother of a child you decided to put into one of your detention camps because we were crossing back into the country after visiting relatives.”

“Look, I’m just playing politics. Attack a minority that a lot of people hate, blame everything on them, say it’s patriotic to hate them and say that anything else is a lie and fake! Then with the help of some friends, you get elected! It’s as simple as that.”

“Well, that simplicity has got you into this position. In one of the what you call “fake news” buildings, alone with a mother of a child your personal racist police took from her, a mother who is also holding a gun to your head.”

He nodded sideways. “There is that, yes. But I’m sure we can make a deal, a positive deal, one which we can agree on, and if we can’t, then I’m sure it’s still a positive deal, the best deal for all, the greatest deal…” The sound of the gun was quickly followed by a sensation of hot liquid running down his forehead and nose, dripping onto the table. “You… you shot me?” He tapped his forehead and felt the hot blood oozing from a large hole.

“Yeah.”

“Too bad you missed my brain!” He laughed as his security detail ran into the room and disarmed the woman, sending her to the floor with the bestest of bodyslams.




Friday, November 2, 2018

Readers of "How to Sink a Ship!"

Readers have appeared for "How to sink a ship"...



...on Amazon.co.uk...

Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 256,223 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

...and on Amazon.com...

Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #241,640 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

I wonder if anyone else will be tempted?
Who knows? But for those who can't get one, there are always the freebies over at Smashwords.com.

I'm thinking of doing Audiobooks for the first books, such as "Man by a Tree" and "The Bethlehem Fiasco", and especially the favourites "The Rage of Atlantis" and "Manna-X" (over 1000 copies out there somewhere...mostly given away as freebies, though :-(  )
When I can find the time and place, of course, like, when?

Tuesday, October 30, 2018

Dani's Shorts 5 somewhere else...AND NEW BOOK!

I found Dani's Shorts 5 on another website...
Shakespir...
http://shakespir.com/ebook/danis-shorts-5-17665
I have no idea how it got there, because I certainly didn't give permission, but... I give it FREE at Smashwords.com, so it's now on another platform... that can only be a good thing.
Oh, and did I say?
My new book is out!
And someone bought a book in the UK! (Thanks!!)
Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 137,332 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

So, if you'd like to read the blurb, click on this link!
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Sink-eight-excrutiatingly-terrifying-stinkingly/dp/1948807041
...or this one...!
https://www.amazon.com/Sink-eight-excrutiatingly-terrifying-stinkingly/dp/1948807041






    Monday, October 29, 2018

    How to sink a ship! Out now! ...in Paperback at the moment...


    The second installment of the 'How to' series is here! 
    "How to sink a ship (in eight long, excruciatingly terrifying, stinkingly evil nights)"
    Why the long title? One day you'll see why.
    Here's the lovely cover by Ash Hamilton (and finalised by Thomas Lamkin Jr)....



    ...and a link to the Paperback, so you can read the blurb!
    It's so exciting to finally get another book out there...time to work on the third installment.
    https://www.amazon.com/Sink-eight-excrutiatingly-terrifying-stinkingly/dp/1948807041





    Wednesday, October 24, 2018

    Thank you, Hugh Cornwell

    I once had the chance to talk to Hugh Cornwell (who you say?)...

    ...of the Stranglers (who?)...



    ...but I chickened out. I was a big fan of the Stranglers, had bought all their albums, singles and 12"s (yes, we're talking vinyl here), even their solo stuff, including JJ Burnel's, Cornwell's and Greenfield's (Burnel even passed me a Fire & Water album because I couldn't find it anywhere - another story).

    From Cornwell's solo album at the time, 'Wolf', here's 'Another Kind of Love', a great video...
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-CKsZArfoEs

    Burnel just happen to live in the village. I thought this was too much of a coincidence to miss out on, so I asked him to sign all the solo stuff. They all did.

    One night in the pub about a day or so later, Hugh Cornwell comes in looking all suave and shiny and orders a pint. I'm sitting there like "Do I? Should I?" And I chicken out. He finishes his pint and leaves. The end. I didn't get another chance to thank him for the signatures or the many hours of pleasure listening to his voice and guitar on those early Stranglers' songs.

    I'm still sad that the original Stranglers line-up had to split, but as Cornwell said in an interview, it became more like work than a life. Everyone had settled down with a family except for him, so I guess he had to do something.

    So, I'd just like to say, thank you, Hugh Cornwell.
    And yes, I do like 'Wolf', especially "Decadence" (28:03 on this youtube audio).

    And... apparently Cornwell has a new album out, 'Monster', with a tour in November...


    I'll go and check some of the songs out...
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zj1KsSZNfRI

    Ooo, hang on, what's this...'Totem & Taboo'...
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZYxUrCVO0hE

    And here's Cornwell's website...
    http://www.hughcornwell.com/


    Monday, October 22, 2018

    Famous quote pages...fantastic!

    Once in a while I look through the web, and find... myself!
    Dani J. Caile has two 'famous quote pages...not only Goodreads but these...
    https://quotessayings.net/authors/dani-j-caile-quotes/



    ...and...


    http://topfamousquotes.com/dani-j-caile-quotes/


    ...not to mention the many places the ol' camel quote appears!
    It's nice to know I've made a little mark on the internet somewhere.

    Sunday, October 21, 2018

    "It’s wonderful to know that this planet is still offering human beings such as Dani J. Caile..."

    As you all know, I've been an 'Iron Writer' for years, though recently I haven't been contributing much. I did, however, win the last Annual Championship with my story "With Love and Admiration", found in "Dani's Shorts 7".
    So, yesterday, after writing an entry for the latest Challenge (7), I wandered over to The Iron Writer website and browsed...went over to the author archives, looked at my page and Lo and Behold, way back in 2014, this was posted from...

    Dani J Caile reflects true and significant talent. He is blessed with skill and a wonderful eye for detail. On a 5 Star bases I defiantly and with great enthusiasm… give him 5 Stars. His talent is obvious and well presented. It’s wonderful to know that this planet is still offering human beings such as Dani Caile. Great talent!

    Oh my! Thank you Dr. Stephen J. Briggs!
    I'm sorry it took me over 4 years to see it...
    And it looks like Dr. Briggs is also an author! Go over to Amazon and have a perusal!
    This book of his looks promising...
    "Just Another Nobody"




    Monday, September 10, 2018

    Manna-X FREE went well!

    Yes, quite a few people took the opportunity to download Manna-X at the weekend!
    I hope I can get a few reviews from them, though it usually comes around to one review per 200 downloads...not a good ratio!
    AND Smashwords Freebies are still going well...
    https://www.smashwords.com/books/byseries/2766

    Waiting for "How to sink a ship"...

    ...but while I'm waiting, I'm brainstorming this one...wish me luck!


    Saturday, September 8, 2018

    Free MANNA-X this weekend! (8+9 September 2018)

    Yes, every day someone picks up a FREE copy off my Smashwords page. It's so nice to see that someone is doing that somewhere in the world. Hopefully they'll read them, too...
    My new book "How to sink a ship" is being worked on at the moment, I think the sticking point is the cover, but I'm sure it's out soon!
    AND...
    MANNA-X is FREE right now, just come on over and pick it up. If you could, please go back and review it, too! It only needs a few more to reach those wonderful Amazon searches in the sky...

    Pick up your FREE copy...
    https://www.amazon.com/Manna-X-Dani-J-Caile-ebook/dp/B00D94CWF0

    On Saturday it was...
    Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #5,516 Free in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Free in Kindle Store)
    #71 in Kindle Store > Kindle eBooks > Literature & Fiction > Humor & Satire > General Humor
    #222 in Kindle Store > Kindle eBooks > Science Fiction & Fantasy > Fantasy > Paranormal & Urban

    Now it's...
    Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #3,034 Free in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Free in Kindle Store)
    #43 in Kindle Store > Kindle eBooks > Literature & Fiction > Humor & Satire > General Humor
    #139 in Kindle Store > Kindle eBooks > Science Fiction & Fantasy > Fantasy > Paranormal & Urban







    Sunday, July 29, 2018

    Free Downloads going well

    Long time no hear! ... but I'm still around!
    This last month, the FREE downloads from Smashwords have done quite well, double the usual rate - yes, two a day instead of one - BUT HEY! It's something! Someone out there, buying the anthologies my stories are in are looking me up on Smashwords and downloading - it's something!
    If you STILL HAVEN'T got them, or need them on another device, you can download any of my FREE stuff from Smashwords here...
    https://www.smashwords.com/books/byseries/2766

    There's Blue Haze...
    ..even TDX2...

    As for "How to..." part 2...well, after 2 years waiting, I hope it'll be out soon...

    Saturday, June 2, 2018

    Kickstarter Project! Illustrated 'Alice on the Outside-In'!

    I've started a small Kickstarter project to see if I can get enough interest in an illustrated version of my little children's story Alice on the Outside-In based on Alice in Wonderland.



    29 days to go and no backing yet, but it's early days. I already have almost half of the pictures done in the style I wish, a simple, digital, strong lined cartoonish reminiscent of the original Powerpuff Girls.
    See?

    But I need some funds to give the illustrator so that they will finish the work.


    So, if you feel like getting a copy, or just helping me to spread the news, please come and have a look!
    Kickstarter Project for Alice on the Outside-In

    Monday, May 21, 2018

    Anthologies are Fantastic!

    If it wasn't for anthologies, Dani J Caile would have been lost in time with a few unrecognised cracked masterpieces and some collections of short stories.
    But anthologies are fantastic! They're the lifeblood of many unknown writers including myself.
    I have another novel coming out soon, a wait of almost 2 years, but hey, it's coming out, but before that, here's a short rundown of these fantastic anthologies.

    Most Recent Anthologies
    These are the ones which are up in the charts at the moment and keeping ol' Dani's Amazon Ranking up above 200k. I also edited 'Baby Shoes'.
    https://www.amazon.com/Greatest-Anthology-Written-Celenic-Publications-ebook/dp/B0769RKTDC
    https://www.amazon.com/Baby-Shoes-100-Stories-Authors-ebook/dp/B0110ZA0RG
    https://www.amazon.com/72-Hours-Insanity-Anthology-Games/dp/1539682285




    Publisher Anthologies
    These two anthologies are from my publishers, Line by Lion and Three Fates Press. 'Circuits & Steam' is only available in paperback and it's a fantastic Steampunk collection.
    https://www.amazon.com/Desert-Bus-Line-Lion-ebook/dp/B01709WDTY
    https://www.amazon.com/Circuits-Steam-3-Fates-Press/dp/1940938333



    Other Great Anthologies
    Here are some which I was able to get into, and these are also great! Unfortunately, 'One Star Reviews of the Afterlife' is out of print, but if you'd like to read the story, I can send it to you :-)
    https://www.amazon.com/Christmas-Lites-V-Amy-Eye-ebook/dp/B018O3SEP2
    https://www.amazon.com/DISARM-Sense-Anthology-Digital-Anthologies-ebook/dp/B06Y4LX3WW
    https://www.amazon.com/Spectrum-Colorful-Collection-SmartyPants-Best-ebook/dp/B076HY5CKH
    https://www.amazon.com/Everything-Need-About-Learned-Songs-ebook/dp/B01BK29INQ
    https://www.amazon.com/FLASH-celebration-short-short-Jason-Brick-ebook/dp/B076BTN333




    Ironology 2014-2017
    There 4 titles are based on a competition which had challenges with elements, and I have tons of short stories in these. They are filled with stories from over a hundred different writers through the years, all 'Iron Writers'!
    https://www.amazon.com/Ironology-2017-B-Y-Rogers/dp/1978482418



    The Indie Collaboration
    I have some stories in these anthologies put together by this wonderful group of writers, all trying to break into the market. These are cool.
    https://www.amazon.com/Indie-Collaboration-Presents-Chilling-Anthology-ebook/dp/B00ODS3HQY
    https://www.amazon.com/Tales-Even-Darker-Places-Collaboration-ebook/dp/B01N0A295E
    https://www.amazon.com/Sugar-Spice-Everything-Nice-Collaboration-ebook/dp/B00VXP4M64
    https://www.amazon.com/Summer-Shorts-Indie-Collaboration-Presents-ebook/dp/B01GZTSRBI
















    Saturday, May 19, 2018

    Spectrum! The Old Woman short story

    Wow! I almost forgot I had a short story in this fantastic collection of short stories from Smartypants Publishing! A great story called "The Old Woman"...



    Come and have a look inside....
    https://www.amazon.com/Spectrum-Colorful-Collection-SmartyPants-Best-ebook/dp/B076HY5CKH

    Saturday, February 10, 2018

    Blue Haze - available FREE on Smashwords

    Yes, 'Blue Haze' is now available for FREE on Smashwords.com...
    https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/790166


    It's been a while since I published anything, mainly because I've been waiting for my new book to come out - which, by the way, is very soon!
    60k words of complete insanity about pirates, politics and zombies... "How to sink a Ship (in eight long, excruciatingly terrifying, stinkingly evil nights). Part two of the "How to" series :-) It'll have one FANTASTIC cover!
    And you can help me. Yes, you can! You can become a Beta reader! (That's someone who reads the book and puts up a review once it becomes available online). Just put a comment on this post and I'll contact you about it! ...a journey always takes one first step...


    Friday, February 9, 2018

    Blue Haze available now... as used?!?!?! Without selling a copy?!?*!

    I wrote a short story for a competition - it went a little off the parameters, but it's better for it!
    After its rejection, I decided to publish it - only 6k words (34 pages), so it'll be available on Kindle too in a day or two...BUT...
    ...it's been available on Amazon for less than a day as a paperback and already it has a price for 'Used'... no one has bought it yet! How can it have a 'Used' price?!?!?!*/*!%!


    It's over here on Amazon (the paperback - later the Kindle will appear)
    https://www.amazon.com/Blue-Haze-Dani-J-Caile/dp/1985201747