Yep, one more, that makes 5 for 'Man by a tree'. Perhaps I can get all 3 books rated somewhere on the chart...probably low, but hey.
The reviewer, who also bought the book (Yeah!!), gave high star marks too, 44545545, which helps a lot!
"Thoroughly enjoyable, although I have to admit I have a particular liking to this sub-genre.
I'm
not sure where you're going with the plot(s) yet - I suspect there may
be several - but I don't particularly care. You have established your
own parameters for an afterlife that is both instantly recognisable and
subtly different."
Sunday, July 22, 2012
Saturday, July 21, 2012
Even more reviews on YouWriteOn.com
'Man by a tree' just received it's 4th review, therefore it now has a rating, someone gave it a 2 star in one place, I'll have to do something about that review later...mmm, story/plot in 'Man by a tree' takes a while to get going as it's a autobiographical/literary work, well, as far as that style acn accept it...
"Oh I wish! If only we could really have all the 'bad' people sent the other way. Although I was really getting into this story I found the second chapter needed reading a couple of times to clarify. Having said that I thought the humour came through well. I think that is not always easy to get across and I was put in mind of ' Hitchhikers Guide' the sample is setting up the scene for the rest of the book well. There isn't a lot to be critical about other than maybe clarifying 'He' a bit earlier, though I did like his name 'Graham Reader' nice play on words.
I may be mistaken but aren't Satan And Lucifer one and the same?
It may be a dark subject for a novel but the sardonic style lifts it nicely, and whilst it isn't my usual book choice I would be content to read more. Well done Dani."
'The Bethlehem Fiasco' got it's 3rd....
"Original and funny and has a good style overall. I would like to read the rest.
Good opening conflict in evidence in the first few lines, engaging reader's interest.
Consider appealing to senses more - sights, sounds, smell taste, etc. The places you did do this made it a more interesting read.
Your narrative, dialogue and action are extremely well interspersed - ideal.
Struggled a bit to identify with the characters but I think the pace and comic style are more important for this type of work - it works really well - I was chuckling out loud several times throughout.
You cut to the chase - its well edited.
The tension builds well when young Jesus starts to hear a voice in his head then has a full conversation. Building tension in a few more places like this will engage the reader even more.
Good conflict in narrative and dialogue ('cut yourself.'). Consider re-writing some of the dialogue in a few more places to be more indirect, less direct. Your direct dialogue style is funny but would benefit by being more indirect in places."
'Man by a tree' Rating after first 4 reviews....(3.59)
"Oh I wish! If only we could really have all the 'bad' people sent the other way. Although I was really getting into this story I found the second chapter needed reading a couple of times to clarify. Having said that I thought the humour came through well. I think that is not always easy to get across and I was put in mind of ' Hitchhikers Guide' the sample is setting up the scene for the rest of the book well. There isn't a lot to be critical about other than maybe clarifying 'He' a bit earlier, though I did like his name 'Graham Reader' nice play on words.
I may be mistaken but aren't Satan And Lucifer one and the same?
It may be a dark subject for a novel but the sardonic style lifts it nicely, and whilst it isn't my usual book choice I would be content to read more. Well done Dani."
'The Bethlehem Fiasco' got it's 3rd....
"Original and funny and has a good style overall. I would like to read the rest.
Good opening conflict in evidence in the first few lines, engaging reader's interest.
Consider appealing to senses more - sights, sounds, smell taste, etc. The places you did do this made it a more interesting read.
Your narrative, dialogue and action are extremely well interspersed - ideal.
Struggled a bit to identify with the characters but I think the pace and comic style are more important for this type of work - it works really well - I was chuckling out loud several times throughout.
You cut to the chase - its well edited.
The tension builds well when young Jesus starts to hear a voice in his head then has a full conversation. Building tension in a few more places like this will engage the reader even more.
Good conflict in narrative and dialogue ('cut yourself.'). Consider re-writing some of the dialogue in a few more places to be more indirect, less direct. Your direct dialogue style is funny but would benefit by being more indirect in places."
'Man by a tree' Rating after first 4 reviews....(3.59)
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| Pace & structure | 
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Friday, July 20, 2012
Great reviews on YouWriteOn.com
A few more reviews from YouWriteOn.com...
2nd review of 'The Bethlehem Fiasco'....
"I chuckled my way through your submission enjoying all of it. It is so refreshing to read a text that sets out to be humourous and succeeds. The setting is a good idea. The take on the biblical story is so zany that most would love it, particularly 'God'. The dialogue sustains the humour and keeps the story moving. Sentences are short and colourful. My problem is finding something to say in a constructive manner. There are a few.
1. It would help the reader if you separated paragraphs by a space as suggested by Youwriteon.com. There are times where lack of a space makes for confusion between who is speaking.
2, Your writing is 'happily' free of adverbs. There are a few that could be deleted for a more powerful verb.
3. There are a few typos as there always are.
4. You may get negative feedback about the zany take on religion. Ignore it.
Thanks for a good read."
3rd review of 'Man by a tree' (edited, only the good bits as the rest was nitpicking)
"I like the thinking evident in this. You've gone some way into dealing with the morality or lack of it in your characters' lives as well as exploiting any potential humour in their situations. The hobgoblin is well described. I could visualise him in flight...it is well written..."
2nd review of 'The Bethlehem Fiasco'....
"I chuckled my way through your submission enjoying all of it. It is so refreshing to read a text that sets out to be humourous and succeeds. The setting is a good idea. The take on the biblical story is so zany that most would love it, particularly 'God'. The dialogue sustains the humour and keeps the story moving. Sentences are short and colourful. My problem is finding something to say in a constructive manner. There are a few.
1. It would help the reader if you separated paragraphs by a space as suggested by Youwriteon.com. There are times where lack of a space makes for confusion between who is speaking.
2, Your writing is 'happily' free of adverbs. There are a few that could be deleted for a more powerful verb.
3. There are a few typos as there always are.
4. You may get negative feedback about the zany take on religion. Ignore it.
Thanks for a good read."
3rd review of 'Man by a tree' (edited, only the good bits as the rest was nitpicking)
"I like the thinking evident in this. You've gone some way into dealing with the morality or lack of it in your characters' lives as well as exploiting any potential humour in their situations. The hobgoblin is well described. I could visualise him in flight...it is well written..."
Thursday, July 19, 2012
3 Reviews of 'Man by a tree' today
Two from YouWriteOn,com...
"I almost removed this assignment as I'm not usually into comedy, but then started reading and became hooked, which must be a good sign. This was an entertaining read, with a lot of well-judged humour. I like the short chapters which keep the pace going."
"I have to commend you for your interpretation and wonderful imagination. It is very refreshing to read a comical, escapism piece now and again....Your style and expression was good, although I personally feel that it would benefit from a little more descriptive, atmospheric explanation. This would give so much more to your work. Enjoyed it. Thank you."
And a short one on authonomy.com...
" Wow love it, so easy to get in to and love the short chapters, backed and highly stared."
Strange that some people love the short chapters and others hate them...
"I almost removed this assignment as I'm not usually into comedy, but then started reading and became hooked, which must be a good sign. This was an entertaining read, with a lot of well-judged humour. I like the short chapters which keep the pace going."
"I have to commend you for your interpretation and wonderful imagination. It is very refreshing to read a comical, escapism piece now and again....Your style and expression was good, although I personally feel that it would benefit from a little more descriptive, atmospheric explanation. This would give so much more to your work. Enjoyed it. Thank you."
And a short one on authonomy.com...
" Wow love it, so easy to get in to and love the short chapters, backed and highly stared."
Strange that some people love the short chapters and others hate them...
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
5th review of 'Rage' on YouWriteOn.com
Just got my 5th review on YouWriteOn.com. This guy has given me my first 2-star for my setting of Atlantis, and so an overall score of 3.5, which I think is harsh from the good things he said about it. Just cutting out the good bits, as he has a problem with my Chapter length and the Atlantis setting. What people don't get is that they are not 'chapters' in my books but 'scenes in time', like a movie. Anyway, here are the good bits...
"I was drawn into for story from the very start. I like stories that just go right into the action and don’t dally on a descriptive ‘scene setting exercise’ to start."
"I’m warming to the protagonists well at this point – a little way in – and I like the pace and, so far, the structure of this piece. I wonder where it will go"
"I do like the pictures your have painted in my head...I like your narrative voice and most of the pace and structure."
"I was drawn into for story from the very start. I like stories that just go right into the action and don’t dally on a descriptive ‘scene setting exercise’ to start."
"I’m warming to the protagonists well at this point – a little way in – and I like the pace and, so far, the structure of this piece. I wonder where it will go"
"I do like the pictures your have painted in my head...I like your narrative voice and most of the pace and structure."
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Trilogy now available
The Trilogy, is now available in Kindle version!!
So now you can take your Kindle to the toilet too.
The Trilogy (3 books in 1 for the price of 2) - Kindle version
Of course, it's also available in paperback too, for those who love the real feel of paper!
The Trilogy (paperback) (link is for Amazon.co.uk, just search for your Amazon :-))
So now you can take your Kindle to the toilet too.
The Trilogy (3 books in 1 for the price of 2) - Kindle version
Of course, it's also available in paperback too, for those who love the real feel of paper!
The Trilogy (paperback) (link is for Amazon.co.uk, just search for your Amazon :-))
Bethlehem Fiasco review from YouWriteOn.com
Well, got a nice review of 'The Bethlehem Fiasco' from YouWriteOn.com. Other than what you can see, it was all nitpicking stuff, a word here, a rephrasing there. And he noticed the stable door switch!!!:-)
"I liked this story, it wasn't what I'd expected. I think you succeeded in making it humorous particularly with the three wise men being portrayed as thieves and in your portrayal of God in the last chapter.
Your use of dialogue is very good and certainly gives the reader a good sense of each character as an individual and their personality; in particular Gaspar and Michael. I would say this was one of the major strengths of your work. The switch of setting and character POV between each chapter was done very well too; also the switch between Jesus' perspective and Joesph's through the sound of the stable door in chapter 2."
"I liked this story, it wasn't what I'd expected. I think you succeeded in making it humorous particularly with the three wise men being portrayed as thieves and in your portrayal of God in the last chapter.
Your use of dialogue is very good and certainly gives the reader a good sense of each character as an individual and their personality; in particular Gaspar and Michael. I would say this was one of the major strengths of your work. The switch of setting and character POV between each chapter was done very well too; also the switch between Jesus' perspective and Joesph's through the sound of the stable door in chapter 2."
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